I have to stop
I have been sleeping with my BIL off and on for 18 years and am engaged so it has to end, I have to put a stop to it but I don't know how. I met him when I was 14, The first time he walked into the house I think I got wet, At least thats how I remember it as I sat on the couch and they showed up at mom's unannounced. My sister was living 6 hours away and apparently they woke up and just decided out of the blue to come visit. I should start by saying that my older sister is my half sister, Mom got pregnant in grade 12 and after grad had my sister, They split and she met my dad in university who adopted my sister but they had 3 of their own so I am the youngest of 4, My older sister then two brothers and then me.
My older sister and I are a decade apart in age so the day she showed up I was 14, She was 24 and he was 26, Still to this day he has these eyes that just burrow through your soul and that morning when I answered the door he looked me in the eyes and I felt my vag!na contract, Release and get wet as he opened his mouth and said "Hi, You must be Andrea" and I blathered "Uh, duh, Uh" and then hugged my sister. As we hugged she whispered "You need a bra", As we separated I looked down and HOLY did I, Honestly I don't remember ever having that issue before but when I went to my room and looked in the mirror I was like "WHAT THE F", I hadn't started to...Blossom yet and was still in the awkward puffy n!pple stage but not that day.
As time went on I found myself getting more and more attracted to him and when I was 16 they moved back to our hometown, They both acquired jobs here and bought a house 3 blocks away from ours.
They had come to stay with us at my parents house the night before the movers arrived with their stuff and my parents have a large house so they just took over my sisters old room which wasn't being used for anything anyway and was still full of her stuff and as I lay in bed I could hear them giggling and whatnot, I had not had a s3xual encounter as of yet outside of some heavy petting but had been exploring myself and I was a curious teen so I sneaked out and crept up to the window. The curtains were closed but there were gaps and I could see my sister on her back and him going down on her which he is a master at and then they switched and I watched her suck him and then they had s3x.
I went back to my room and had a solo as quietly as I could, When I was 17 they got married, Big to do and I stayed up late drinking at the reception then wandered back to my room, I was sitting on the ground floor patio outside my room and my BIL walked past, I said "Hi", He said "Hi" and we stood at the railing talking, By this time I had been dealing with some growth in the chest area and was a healthy borderline D cup, I had gone back to my room and geared down to shorts and a flimsy tank top not expecting to see anyone, We talked and he said he was going to see if he could find some beer since my sister had passed out, I had a case of beer and offered him a couple then turned around walking into my room, I knew full well that my shorts did not at all cover my bum cheeks and it was such a rush knowing he was watching me, I rounded the corner to where my fridge was and grabbed my n!ps pinching them and grabbed the beer returning to the patio.
That was when it all started, I invited him onto my patio, We sat and talked and I ended up on his lap, Then on my knees and then on my bed on my back. They left the next day for their honeymoon before I woke up and I didn't see them again for two weeks, The day they returned my sister told me she had a million things to do but asked me to bring over some of the gifts my parents had taken to our house. Knowing she would not be home I intentionally put on the smallest sundress I could find and went full commando under it, With the white dress and flower pattern stretched to its limit across my chest it was see through to the point I had to carry gifts in front of me so my parents didn't notice and be very careful not to bend over too far or they would have seen more than they wanted also.
I arrived at the house and I am sure I left a wet spot on the seat of my car when I got out since while sitting my dress didn't even cover my bum, I rang the doorbell and my BIL answered, I could feel that my n!pples were so hard they could have almost tore right through my dress, I brought the gifts in and made sure to bend all the way over setting them on the floor when there was a perfectly good counter right there. I was all over him and he protested telling me it was wrong and never should have happened but I just kept taking off my dress as he kept trying to put it back on me. I had my hands in his pants holding his fully 3rect pen!s and he spun me around, Bent me over and pulled my dress to my waist from top and bottom, Held my b**** and pounded me bent over the counter.
I knew I had to leave before my sister seen me in the outfit I had on and snuck back into our house changing before my parents seen me, I spent some time in my room reminiscing while having a solo, Not because he didn't get me off but because I couldn't stop thinking about it...Him...It, You understand. And so on it has gone for 18 years, Constant and unrelenting, I can't control myself around him and any chance I get we have s3x, Still monthly and sometimes more if possible, 3 years ago I met my fiance and a month ago I accepted his proposal. First thing I did was went to my sisters to show her the ring and she was at the school for something to do with the kids, He pounded me on the desk in his office. Damn!t, not what I went there for but that assured me that there was no way I could resist him.
I have to, I have to stop this, I need to stop but I think of him every time my fiance and I have s3x, I have thought of him every time I have been with any guy I can remember and I try, I really do but if I go too long I find myself on his doorstep as soon as I know I can get away with it. I need help.