Fictional characters

I've always had a tendency to fall for fictional people. Almost to the point of romantic obsession. I'm not quite interested in regular people compared to this.
I've never had s**, but mi libido is getting a bit out of hand, it's making me anxious... Specially now I'm watching startrek with my mom and I can't watch more episodes on my own because it would be unfair to get ahead.
It's so embarrassing!
I'm thinking about hiring someone to dress up for me in bed. Not that I have problems finding someone interested in me. But I want to hold this specific people and it would be too strange for me to ask a partner to put on makeup and play a role like that for me, even more because I'd be relentlessly loving and demanding accuracy.
My desire is overwhelming and consuming. I could eat them up in one bite.
IDK, I guess I should try to let go of my fantasies, but it's so rewarding it's going to prove a challenge.

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