I need some advice

I have been with the same woman for almost 12 years now. She was took my virginity but had been with a handful of guys before me. I was 16 then she was 19. About 5 years ago we had become regulars at a local bar and made a lot of great friends but we started doing cocaine on a very regular basis. For some reason through all this I began to sneak more coke almost daily. When I’m high on coke I like to drink a lot and I get really h****. Although I would sometimes flirt with other girls I never attempted to do anything beyond that. Then 4 years ago she began to notice my increasing coke use and she discovered that I had been calling local phone chat lines late at night and when I was high and drunk. I never tried to meet or hook up with any one I talked to, it was just to master bate with strange women. When she found out we split up. I did more drugs and partied everyday. I went to strip clubs downtown where I regularly got blow jobs and f****** them right there in private dance area that only had a half wall so I could still see the girls on stage. Eventually I started hooking up with a girl from my work too. My girlfriend wanted to reconcile and forgive me even called me ever night for a month. I never responded. We were broken up for 3 month when I finally talked to her and began hanging out again. I told her that I had been with other girls. She was hurt but had said she had only been on one date with a guy and didn’t do anything. I felt incredibly terrible I know she liked the way she was my only one. She wanted us to establish relationship goals and to be honest with no more phone chats or drugs. I agreed. Then my friend tells me early one morning that his girl had mentioned that my girlfriend was gonna get back together with me. (They were bff) and he said I don’t know she’s been hooking up with a bunch of guys. It broke my heart that she lied. I confronted her and she said she did hook up with two guys one from her high school days and a guy online

Jul 18, 2020

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