Worst first ** and it was paid

It was my birthday night and I was very alone in this quarantine so I got a hooked who cost me £ 170 and I didn't even ** her properly as she wasn't cooperating well no good kisses or chemistry and she got it very early and I came very early. I feel really bad for spending so much for a ** ** drive. Also, I didn't even end up doing it properly because the ** who came didn't even accompany me properly. I was expecting to get into my birthday of 2020 making it at least one of the good things in life. But it just felt like a highly paid mastrubation.
I lost my money time. I shouldn't have spent so much at all this is almost 1/4th of my usual expenses and now its just blunt guilt making me feel bad for failing in the paid ** and also fapping during the lockdown.
Its just an output of how pathetic I have become since 2020. I just need to get my ** together and ace through things in my life achieving them. I just feel too bad for being a ** spending for **.

Aug 11, 2020

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  • How can you expect a ** to have chemistry w a man who is literally paying her for **? You aren’t paying for a relationship, or to teach you how to have **. They’re merely women paid to be used for **. Nothing more. Most don’t kiss on the mouth anyway. I think you expected the experience to be like one shared between a couple but that’s not the case. You have high expectations for an hour w a paid **

  • Sorry the ** was so bad. Hopefully life will look up for you soon!

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