Weird woman

My ex wife has a friend named Denise, She has since day one hated me, I don't know why but hates me, Tried to sabatoge our relationship in the early days and right up until we got divorced told her she was too good for me blah, Blah, Blah.
Denise is...A b****, Just plain and simple, Even my ex would always tell me stuff she did and say she is so angry and such a b**** to everyone but for some reason was still friends with her, Denise is plain jane as plain jane gets, Average height, Not chubby but on the heavier side of average and just basic looking. Up until two months ago I thought the only good thing about her was that she has big jugs.
So I will explain, I am out at the bar with a couple buddies and Denise walks by, I noticed her and a buddy said "Hmmm, There's one", I scoffed and said "Pffft, F*** no", He laughed and said what's wrong with that, I said "Dude, that's my ex's best friend", When she turned around he looked and said "Oooh yeah, I didn't notice, I was just looking at her legs in that skirt" so I had a look and her legs did look pretty good. We carried on drinking and I don't know if she knew I was there or not but after a couple hours she walked right past our table and looked at me, Made a funny face and kept walking, I was like WTF was that but ignored it.
I went to the bathroom and when I came out she was on her way to the girls washroom and just looked at me, Said "Mike", I said "Denise" and I looked back at her as she walked away and got caught by her looking back at me. My buddy who had mentioned her initially had said "Uhhh, What was that?", I shrugged and carried on with my night, When the "Ugly lights" came on I headed outside and waited for a cab, Denise walked up and said "Wanna be a gentleman and let me go first". I said "Sure Denise", We started talking a little and were actually not getting along to bad, A cab pulled up, I opened the door for her and said "Have a good night", She got in, Looked at me, Looked away and I closed the door, The cab started to pull away and stopped. Denise opened the door and said "Where are you living now?", I told her and she said "Get in, We will split the cab".
I did, We got to her place and she said "Wanna drink?", I was like whooooaaaa, what is happening here but I said "Yeah sure" and paid the cab, We went inside, She grabbed us each a beer and we sat down, We started talking and after maybe 3 minutes she said "I don't want to talk" and kissed me. We started making out and she pulled back saying "Never a f****** word to Melanie (My ex), I said "Pfft, No, of course not", I get her top off and her big jugs are spilling out and she unclips her own bra and bam, Out come her big t***, Big and firm (No kids...Probably from being such a b****), Big brown nipples and they are hard, She is ripping at my clothes, Gets my shirt off and shes going a little wild.
I looked down at her as she got on her knees in front of me, She licked my chest, Bit my nipple and licked my abs, She's like "Oooh man" and tenses up her body then starts tearing at my belt, Gets my pants undone and I lift my butt, She rips them down and moans, "Ooohhh yes", She looked up at me and she does have pretty eyes, always has and then she just devoured my c***, Not to brag but I pack some girth, only 7.5" long but thick, Shes sucking and pulls back, Gasps for air and dives back in, She goes for the b**** and I was like "Oooh, Whoa, Not so rough", She swallows and looks at me with a look I have never seen from her, She stands up, Unzips her skirt and steps out of it, She was commando underneath and bald, Shaved, Waxed, Lasered I have no idea but smooth and bald and has a perfect p****, No word of a lie it is perfect.
Denise is darker complected and as such has a brown p****, I never would have guessed to be honest but brown, Bald and smooth, She straddled my lap, grabbed my shaft and sat on my d***. She wiggled and twitched and had the tip in, she grunted, Like a grunt as she pushed herself down and her eyes rolled back, She was so tight that she was bending my d*** and I was hard, Hard like I haven't been in years, She worked up and down a few times and couldn't get it in so she stood up and led me to the bedroom, She flopped down on the bed and I dove into her p****, Licking and fingering and getting her all worked up.
Denise was working her hips side to side and moaning and groaning and then looked down at me and said "F*** me, I want you in me...All in me", I slammed her legs open and she gasped and said "getle, gentle...F*** me but gentle", I got about half way in and she was losing it, She was moaning and her eyes were rolling back in her head, I gave her half shaft for a while then decided she was wet enough and worked up enough and slammed it all the way in, Well....Denise sat up, Like sat up, Grabbed my arms and screamed "Ooooohhhhh fuuuuuuck yes" and flopped back on the bed, Bucking her hips and she was f****** me not the other way around, and she pushed my hips back sliding my d*** out of her and she gushed.
i was pretty sure I had broken something and she laid there looking down rubbing her c*** hard and fast and she gushed again, She lifted her hips and was like spraying all over my lap, I sat there and stared and she flopped down on the bed, She moaned "aaahhh, Oooohhhh gooooodddd, Ahhhhh whatttt in the actual fuuuuck, Ooooohhh god, Aaaaahhhh", I leaned over her and rubbed my tip on her, She pushed me away saying "uh,uh...Nope, Nope....No, Wait, Something isn't right", She clenched her legs and said "Oh f***, That hurt", She was panting like a dog in heat and rolled over moaning "Aaaahhhh f***" and went to the bathroom. she stumbled back into the room and I was standing by the soaking wet bed just looking at it, She stumbled in and said "Aaahhh god", Took me by the hand and led me to the shower. We get in and she is all over me, Sitting in front of me on her knees sucking me then she gets up on the bench and sits back, She spreads her legs and nods her head, I lift her leg and rub her p**** then slide a finger between her cheeks, She tenses up and bites her lip and I apply a little pressue and it slides right in, she grabbed her hair with both hands and moaned "ooohhhhh" as I pushed it in, I got her basically laid down and got on top of her and slid my d*** in her, I had it most of the way in and she said "Slow please, It still hurts".
Ok, Blah, Blah, Blah, I am going to run out of room here, I pound her in the shower, On the couch, On the living room floor and pretty much everywhere else anytime she bent over. I go home and she texts me, I go back over and nail her again, Then the day after that and for three more days then...Nothing, No texts, I text her and nothing, A week later I text her...Nothing, Two months go by and she shows up at my door, I invite her in, We f*** and then she says "I'm pregnant".
Well f***, Now denise is moving in with me and she's still a b**** most of the time, Wrap it up boys, It'll save you in the long run.

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