I am being used

I am being used by my friends, I do and always have hung around with mostly boys, I don't know why it just seems to happen, I know full well I am as tomboy as it gets, I like to do boy things and work on cars, Ride dirtbikes and quads and go 4x4ing, I drink with mostly guys and hang out with mostly guys and I recently started getting used for my attributes that are not so boy like.
I am 5'3" tall, 115 lbs, shortish blone hair and I am well aware I am not the "Pretty girl" but maybe a month ago I was out with a guy friend, we went to his place and I accidentally looked at his p****, Through his pants and just the outline but he caught me, He said "Oh, You do like boys?", I said "Uh yeah, Of course...WTF, did you think I was gay?". He shrugged and said "I don't know, Everyone kind of thinks you may be", So I don't know if it was that comment alone that made me feel like I had something to prove or not but I gave my friend head, swallowed, the whole bit.
Then of course he started wanting it everytime we were alone and I don't know why but I did it one more time, Then, He must have told someone or everyone, I don't know but another guy friend who I don't hang out with a lot but once in a while calls me up, says "Hey, I'm driving to ****** wanna come for a drive" I say "Yeah sure, Whatever" so it's just me and him, 15 minutes into our 1 hour drive he is acting weird and then lifts his butt and whips down his shorts, I look at him and he just looks at me and reached over, Put his hand on my shoulder and pulled me toward him so I gave him head.
A week later me and a girl friend go out to a campsite where about 6 of the guys were, She sneaks off after dark with one of them and both guys I had given head to were there. pretty soon one guy is flirting, Then another and soon all 5 of them are like in various stages of flirting and then one speaks up and says "Soooo....Cassie", I am like "Sooooo....What?", He says "I hear you like to suck d***" and my heart sank, I looked at both of the guys and they just both sat there. So we all go in the camper...yeah all of them, Shut up. My friend comes back and I am just sitting there looking guilty and said "Let's go".
I can't be alone with any of the guys I used to hang around with or they just end up pressuring me into giving head and now they are making me do it in front of each other, taking my clothes off, They make me sit naked and flick my nipples because I don't have b****, Just nipples, they touch my vag but I haven't let any of them take my V because i want to wait till I am dating someone but I want to stop all of it, Honestly if they didn't push for me to do more and more every time I would probably be ok with just the b******* but they keep wanting more.

Nov 5, 2020

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