Is it okay to be this way?

For context: I'm a teen and I'm afab. I know this is going to sound gross but I'm concerned about it and I'm wondering if It's bad. My dad emotionally abused and degraded me but sometimes it got sexual and physical. I hate him and I hate what he did to me, I really do. But I've noticed I'm only attracted to (slightly) older men, around 20s or 30s and I like being submissive and calling people daddy. This is weird I know, but I want a man whose older than me to degrade me while roughly having s** with me, or even spank me. I think I might have a daddy kink but if it's trauma induced then I don't know if this makes me messed up. I feel like it's wrong and I didn't enjoy any of what my father did to me, so I don't know why I'm like this. Should I be worried, is this okay? Please be kind and don't be creepy, this isn't a fetish thing, I'm genuinely concerned if I'm broken

Dec 6, 2020

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  • What your dad did to you is wrong and inexcusable. I think your body is trying to protect you by "normalizing it", so you don't feel like a victim. Consider telling someone you really trust, and ask for their support while you reach out for help.

  • You are never broken. You need to understand that your brain is in control of your taught wich leads to emotions. Decide what you want to do and be to be happy. Accept your past experiences as knowledge to help you grow even the bad ones. They is better and there worse than you. Decide to control your taught in relation with everything and you’ll be free. This is a long process but it’s a remede for life. Break down your fears and emotions by trying to understand why these things happened and once you understand why (not approve, understand) you’ll be healed. Also you hate things your father did but love him for other things he did. Understand he knows he made mistakes and nobody is perfect so it’s confusing but life and people is like that and you will also make mistake that you’ll regret so break down these issues and the understanding will heal you. You want that kind of s** because this is what you experiences and deep down some part of it felt good maybe just some words and cuddling parts and you may have enjoyed some physical feelings at some point even small parts makes you want to experience it again but not with the bad parts and not with your dad. Think, understand the facts and you will be strong!

  • It's super normal actually.

  • It is perfectly fine to have these urges. Find a good older man to take you under his wing and teach you how pleasurable a little kinky s** can be. Sounds like you may be submissive, all the better, an older man can lead you into a relationship where you can dress up as a Sissy. I myself find this very liberating and love it.

  • Afab?

  • Its completely fine. I'm the same I think its cause in that situation you have some control as well safe words, limits etc. Just make sure you do your research before hand!

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