Is it okay to be this way?
For context: I'm a teen and I'm afab. I know this is going to sound gross but I'm concerned about it and I'm wondering if It's bad. My dad emotionally abused and degraded me but sometimes it got sexual and physical. I hate him and I hate what he did to me, I really do. But I've noticed I'm only attracted to (slightly) older men, around 20s or 30s and I like being submissive and calling people daddy. This is weird I know, but I want a man whose older than me to degrade me while roughly having s** with me, or even spank me. I think I might have a daddy kink but if it's trauma induced then I don't know if this makes me messed up. I feel like it's wrong and I didn't enjoy any of what my father did to me, so I don't know why I'm like this. Should I be worried, is this okay? Please be kind and don't be creepy, this isn't a fetish thing, I'm genuinely concerned if I'm broken