For my ex-girlfriend...

I have to write this here because it would humiliate me on social media. It would also result in the recipient’s estrangement, and I don’t even know if we’re friends right now.
So here it is:

- I love you. I love you so much. I love everything about you. You are beautiful. You are sexy. You are cute. You are smart. You are funny. You brought spice to an insipid life. I miss you more than ever. It hurts more all the time because you are ignoring me again. My heart is crying out for you. It devastates me to see your image; to know I can’t get inside that world and have you the way I want’s a knife in my heart. You once described me as your man, and that really moved me. It just might be the moment I began to fall in love with you. “My cute little baby.” I wish I could say that to you, but it would be the worst thing I could do, and that hurts. I love you so, so much. During Christmas, after you ghosted me, I still thought about you every day. The hardest part is the good memories. They just serve as a reminder that that kind of joy is off-limits. I love you and you don’t even want to have a conversation with me. That’s my life right now. Every time I look at a picture of you, I get lost in it. I could stare into your eyes for years. To me, you’re more beautiful than any movie star, and just as magnetic. I wish you hadn’t done this to me. I want you. I hope for a brisk end to this situation. Whether it means you coming back to me or me forcing you out of my mind, I hope it won’t be a long wait. I love you so much, baby. It’s true. I really do love you. And it hurts. I had to express these feelings right now because I’m on the verge of tears. I would be so happy if you came back to me. In fact, when I envision my ideal life, I picture you as my woman. I not only want you back, but I would not ever want to lose you. I already know how bad that feels. You know that I loved you before Christmas, and I suspect you know I still do. I guess that’s why you’ve ghosted me again. You left me in H***, you know. Well, like the song goes, “I can’t make you love me if you don’t/I can’t make your heart feel something it won’t.” I want more than anything for you to be my girl. Take in stock all of the above and be advised that this is how much I love you. I love you so much that I love telling you how much I love you. It kills me that I can’t say it to you. Love has the power to destroy. The power to mangle and mutilate. It’s a dagger dripping with acid. I love you, and I’m in H***. But I love you no less. I want you so bad. I love you, and I’ll do just about anything to win your heart. You have such a pretty smile. I want to see you smile for me again. I love you, I love you, I love you. I love you with all my heart and soul. I love you. 💔

Jan 27

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  • I'm sorry. I did enjoy what you wrote. I have been there. Let me give you some advice. Get a hold of your feelings. I learned that I am not much of an asset to anyone when I go around completely spun out emotionally as you are. The more successful you are at just being yourself, taking daily steps to improve your life, the more attractive you are to the woman you have set your heart on. It gives her confidence that down the road she is allowed to make a mistake. She is still okay if things get rough for her because she knows that you are confident and responsible and strong. She knows that she can fall because you will catch her. And women respect that. Men do to. Your buddies will have greater respect for you also. My advice is not to go through the day with all of those feelings bouncing around in your head. The head must rule the heart. Your heart will lie to you. Your feelings will get you in trouble. So let your feelings inform your thinking but DO NOT let them lead. I advise that you keep writing. Set aside a time to write. To feel everything. When you finish writing leave your feelings on the page. Your mind must rule. It is more desirable to be consistent regardless of how you feel than. Then she is confident in you when things get hard.

  • Reading that seriously hurt me, i got the same thing done to me and I just wish he'll think about me the same way you're thinking about your ex. I'm so sorry this happened to you but I just wanted to tell you that u are not alone. I guess nice people always fall for the wrong ones. time, give it time and try to put your focus somewhere else. you've got so much love dude, but you're giving it to the wrong person. someone else will come along that needs that love. please save it for the right one, they deserve it and so do you

  • This is so sweet! She is one lucky woman. I am sure if she read this confession, she would have you back in a heartbeat. Best wishes for the future.

  • I would hope so. Thank you!

  • Very well-said, under impossible circumstances, considering how much pain you're in. I'm sorry you're hurting and broken into pieces. I hope she will soon realize that she's made a huge mistake and will give you a chance to revive the romance and resume the relationship, and to show her that you really are the man for her, that you are HER man, and that the two of you belong together.

    As well as you write, you should consider sending her a handwritten letter (if that's physically possible in the present situation). If you do that, begin it with an apology, even if you consider that inapplicable to the history. Apologies just have a power. Even something as broad as "I'm sorry for everything I've done to contribute to the distance that stretches out between us (ever longer each hour)", would go a long way toward opening a mind -- and a heart -- closed to even the possibility of you right now. And end it by telling her you love her, doing so in a way that she knows is genuine.

    It seems to me that the two of you should be together, and that the world would be a better place if you were. I wish you well. And I wish you happiness, come what may.

  • I thought the same thing. It was the first well-written thing I saw today. We have a fellow reader on our hands. I appreciate spelling and punctuation. There was also a rhythm that seemed very natural.

  • Thanks for your response. It means a lot. She recently told me it had nothing to do with any of my actions, so an apology isn’t warranted. She says she is going through a rough patch and can’t do a relationship and even struggles to make decisions. I couldn’t have come along at a worse time. If we’re meant to be together she’ll have to initiate that. Thanks for your thoughts on the matter. It’s nice to hear.

  • I think the other woman's points about apologizing still have validity, even when the person offering it has done nothing wrong, because the apology can lift a burden of guilt or responsibility or just embarrassment from the one being apologized TO. I think that is what she was saying. Obviously your girlfriend created the problem, but it's of no benefit to you to remind her of that or to wait on her to "confess" it or seek your forgiveness. If you "apologize" --- especially when not necessary --- that may possibly break the logjam and facilitate a renewal of contact. Good luck to you!

  • Thank you for your insight. I’m not going to contact her because whether she stonewalls me or rebuts the very notion that she is at fault, I’ll only end up feeling worse. I’ll get over her eventually. She’s not the first woman I’ve ever loved.

  • If you love her immensely, you would not give up on her. Open the lines of communication and be honest about your feelings. You do not want to let a good woman slip through your fingers. She is most likely waiting for you to initiate some form of contact. Don't assume she does not love you just because she has not initiated anything. All the best to you and your future with your beloved whoever, this may be!

  • The thing is this: she ghosted me out of her life three months ago, and she did it again when we communicated again recently, so I may not be welcome. It would make the situation a whole lot more painful if she continued to ignore me.

  • Try to get through that thick exterior of pain that she may be shielding herself from. I don't know the reasons why she may be ghosting you. Perhaps, she has misinterpreted things and needs some support to understand the circumstances with some clarity and better insight. Don't you want to understand why she is ghosting you? She may have some inner insecurities that have not been dealt with. The one who is stronger has to try to penetrate that broken barrier and somehow form a bridge to connectedness again. If you keep assuming, one will never know the truth behind ones motives. Good luck, sir.

  • She told me that she is going through a phase where she is scared of the future and can’t deal with things like saying goodbye to people. Seems like it might be best if I let her sort that out on her own.

  • If you know what is best for her, by all means, let her sort it out on her own.
    She is most likely confused or not too sure about where this relationship is going.
    From my perspective, there seems to be some kind of misunderstanding going on between you and her. I could be assuming incorrectly!
    Love does not keep one standing alone in the cold.
    If you don't communicate, then there is nothing that can be done.
    Is great LOVE not worth the effort?
    If you reach out to her and communicate and she does not reciprocate, than a happy friendship between the both of you would be a lovely alternative.
    Is she frightened that you will not commit?
    What is she frightened of?
    She needs some support to see this relationship through.
    Discussing the situation with a relationship councillor might help, also or you could leave things the way they are if you do not believe in this relationship advancing to any positive future.

  • There is no relationship of any kind. She stopped speaking to me. I’m assuming at this point that her feelings for me just died. If she still cared for me she wouldn’t have iced me out. She is a bit unstable. I want to tell her I love her but to hear anything other than that from her would make a bad situation even worse. She never had a reason to doubt my feelings for her. Love can die, and it often does. I’ve recovered from this sort of situation before. Given her recent behaviour, there likely isn’t any other recourse but to move on. I was ghost-dumped, and she only haunts me with her absence.

  • In your confession, you quoted the following:
    But I love you no less. I want you so bad. I love you, and I’ll do just about anything to win your heart.
    She loves you however, she most likely does not know what to do with all this love???
    Have you lost faith?
    If you feel ghost-dumped, approach her about this and ask her why she is doing this to you.
    Perhaps she is unstable because she doe not know where she stands in the relationship.
    I understand completely where you are coming from.
    Perhaps, there is more to this story than meets the eye!
    Can I give you a virtual hug and tell you that everything will turn out ok irrespective of the outcome.

  • I’ve decided that the best thing to do is move on. I’ve suffered enough. You’ve given me one more hug than she has! I’m not going to waste any more love on someone who doesn’t want it. I’ll get over it.

  • Good luck, sir. I hope you find happiness. Find your true soul mate. Live a happy fulfilling life filled with lots of love and good health.

  • Do as you please. If she is not worth the time or effort, it is time to move on.

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