Dealing with people with abandonment issues

I've had a lot of friends with abandonment issues and almost every single one has left me.
I grew to have a lot of anxiety and trust issues and dealing with friends with abandonment trauma sucks. It constantly ends up with them probing me for validation at inappropriate times then getting really upset when I don't respond. I feel like they can't recognize me as a human being with free will. I'm constantly panicking that every f****** sentence will become a 3 hour spiral into their insecurities.
I get no pleasure from being everyone's therapist, just constant anxiety that if I f*** up, if I do one single thing wrong, they'll go off the deep end. I mean for f**** sake I'm worrying the wrong person will come across this and then have a depressive episode because of it.
Are we just f****** incompatible as humans because I can't spend every waking moment walking on egg shells? Every conversation runs me to f****** exhaustion and I just need some social interaction that isn't constantly tainted by our mental health issues. F***.

May 15, 2021

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