Cheating on my boyfriend

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 9 years, we have a house together and I have even taken his last name. My boyfriend before him is the father of 2 on my children and to be honest a bit of an areshole, he was in the Army and never really grew up, used to drink all of the time, cheated on me and in general was a d***. He is very, very intelligent though and runs his own business and is one of those people that always seems to land on his feet. Since being with my current man I have grown to hate my ex a little bit more each day but his kids who are now adults idolise him, he is their hero. He bought a new dog recently and I really wanted to see it as my boys kept going on about how big she was, he had said that I could go round if I wanted to and he would go out so I arranged to go when my youngest son would be there. When I arrived my son had gone out and my ex was there as he knew I was coming and I would not have been able to get in otherwise. He has quite an impressive house and is a conformed bachelor that will happily admit to sleeping around and using prostitutes but I had forgotten just how funny he could be, within 2 minutes he had me howling with laughter. After about 10 minutes I was ready to leave but he stood in the doorway and smiled at me, I don't know what came over me but I just dropped to my knees, undid his shorts and started to suck his c***! I went for it like someone possessed until I felt him tighten up and I let him c** in my mouth, something I hardly ever do with my boyfriend, I swallowed it all. I felt really guilty afterwards and rushed home to my man but as he works away and doesn't know where I am when he is away, I have been back 3 times since and these times I have let him f*** me however he wants to and every time I always end up letting him c** in my mouth. I am sure that my mother who lives with us thinks that something is up as I am pretty sure that one of the times I went home she could actually smell his s**** on my breath but she doesn't know that I have even been to see him, she probably thinks it is someone else. I am no young girl but I am acting like a s***, I feel really guilty but can't stop.

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