So hopeless and dead ??

I feel so hopeless for a future or anything positive and I wonder am I already in H***. I can't remember ever being happy since my so called Father did that to me, I can't even remember how old I was when it started, but my earliest memory was him tucking me in and touching me. God I hate him for everything that he has done to me and how I have destroyed my own life trying to escape him and his twisted mind. I grew up not able to have any friends because I showed love and happiness by doing inappropriate things to my friends and myself because my Dad made me think in my mind that is how society is, and that's what you do. I have been on my own since 15 when I finally had enough of getting molested every day almost, only to find out the world is full of people like my Dad. Having no money no food no shelter nothing I slept on the city bus, and I met my first two official friends who ended up letting me sleep on their floor after meeting me on the bus a few times, there I was introduced to getting high and I loved it, I forgot all about my Dad and being degraded and hurt and so unhappy I finally felt free just from snorting this little powder. Until it was gone and I was woken up asked for money to pitch in for a re-up and when I said I didn't have any, Steve and Dawn told me I better make some if I wanted to stay there and especially if I wanted any more of what we did, and here is where h*** caught up with me, I said yes I definitely wanted more and I didn't want to be a free loader, did they know anyone who needed babysitting or any jobs hiring Dawn took me to a bar by her house but they wouldn't hire me at 15, and I felt so defeated, but on the way back home she gave me a little line and said WE would figure it out. well her idea of WE is ME and it's being a cam girl to sucking and f****** stranger's and Dawn twisted my head just like my Dad. At first I was alone on a cam site, then she said to get more people to pay her and I would fool around and then awhile later to get more people to pay I needed to f*** a guy and she knew a perfect one and then two and three I was so dumb for giving in to that I know now, Men will degrade you in every way possible to assert themselves God the horrible things I have done or let happen makes me truly wonder if I am in H*** because I doubt I will ever be happy or ever find someone to love me enough not to expect me to do things I don't want to do. Love is an illusion I just wonder if H*** is to or if I kill myself will I finally be free to love and be happy and respected and not be a p**** magnet. My fear is killing myself and going to a worse h*** than I'm already in.

Sep 19, 2021

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  • Please if you need someone to talk to... You know just to vent do not hesitate..

    I am a guy i was a front man for a late 90's early 2000's hardcore band, but grew up without a father because of alcohol and I was abused from the 4th grade to the 8th Roman Catholic church nuns in their convent..

    I have also been single 16 years (by choice) ..

  • My sister invites me over to to her house once a week to have a few drinks. One night we got really drunk and she told me that she has always wanted to be raped. I don't think much about it at the time. But later that week I keep thinking of having sexy with her. My sister is a bigger girl but is still sexy. So the next week I was over I keep thinking of how hot to f*** her as soon as she got her kids to bed she came back out with a drink. She sat down next to me. I called her sexy and kisses her neck she smiles thin said no brother it's not right. I grabbed her by the neck and push my tung in her mouth and the Uther hand down her pants. She was super wet she kept trying to push me off. I started ripping off her clothes as she begged me to stop once she was fully nude I forced her back on the couch and forced my d*** deep in my sister tight little pussey she was so tight like we was made to fit together I f***** her as hard as I could she was crying and try to get away. Soon I new I would be c****** so I started getting ready to pull out. She looks me in the eye and said if u pull out I will tell everyone what u did to me. Think about getting my sister pregnant made me so h**** for her I put my hands around my sister neck and held tight her face was bright read as I could feel my sister squirts around my d*** I couldn't take any more I pump the biggest lode of my life in my sisters pussey. We had s** over and over all night. She is pregnant with my baby now and I rap her every night now

  • Even if this WAS true (LOL, “rap her in the pussey” why are these morons always illiterate? It was SO difficult to misspell that shìt, because my phone kept autocorrecting! How are they so fücking good at misspelling?) anyway, even if this WAS true, okay sure, I’ll give you that first time, you rapëd your sister in the eyes of the law, ONCE! However, as SOON as she said that line about cümming inside of her… YOU HAD CONSENT! That erased the räpe, even if you REALLY intended to räpe your sister, you didn’t, because she eventually gave you consent! It’s THAT simple! Every single time you allege to “räpe” her after that, you are in fact engaging in consensual incest… that’s all!
    Again, I clearly stated that I was talking about IF IT WERE TRUE, which is is not! I’m sure he WANTS to, (basically just) have rough sëx with his sister, but this is pure mastürbatory fantasy!

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