Be careful what you wish for. Your fantasy should remain fantasy

I keep reading all these fantasies about girls wanting to be owned (really owned) or being with black men (like in a gang bang). Sure it can work, maybe, but here's my reality.

My boyfriend and I were together since high school. When we got older and got more serious we got engaged. Once we started talking about getting married in a year and a half (when he graduated law school) he started telling me some of his sexual fantasies and some were pretty wild. I told him mine too. One was about wanting to be overpowered by 3 or 4 black men at once but it's fantasy, right? I never really thought I'd want to do it.

So we started playing around with some of his fantasies that involved bondage and discipline. It was fun at first but his ideas were getting more and more intense. Finally he brought up ownership and we even had a contract that I signed basically letting him do anything. He said it was his dream come true and he had a treat for me for agreeing to be owned but he'd have to work out the details depending on how the transition into being master/slave went.

Without me knowing he had started getting to know people in a kinky meetup group that met a few hours from us, but at home he was having me starting to dress certain ways and giving up possessions. He stopped allowing me to talk or see my friends or family (not that I was close with my family anyway) and he had me quit my job. We started to get into a routine of me serving him but one day he announced we were having a party that weekend. He wanted me to meet some new friends of his. I started to get excited and planning food and everything but he said no, he had it taken care of.

The day of the party he told me to wear what he had laid out on the bed. It was a black lace, sleeveless mini-dress with a low cut back and front, and low under the arms. It was really just like lace attached at the waist, coming up over my boobies, criss-crossing in the back and attached at the waist in the back. It was almost like a school-jumper but see-through lace and nothing underneath. I don't have the best body so I asked if I could wear something else. He took me to my closet and he said but you don't have anything else to wear and he was right. Other than a couple things in there, my closet was empty. I thought he'd hidden everything or maybe I was going to get new clothes, but I put on the dress and he told me I wasn't to say a word all evening and do as I was told. No matter who told me to do it.

I was getting really nervous and saying I'm not too sure about this. He pulled out our contract and said, yes, you are sure about this. He said I had two choices. Do as I was told or leave, right then and now. I was stunned and tears started welling up and I said it's a joke, right? And he said no it wasn't a joke and if I didn't get quiet I would regret it. He gave me a pair of ridiculously high heeled shoes to wear and left the room saying he'd be back for me.

To get to the point, when all his new friends came over it ends up they were the friends from the kink group he'd joined. He led me around to everyone and I felt like I was being treated like a prize animal. They were touching me all over, not really in a sexual way but just in a way like they could grab, squeeze, pull, anything they wanted to do. I was crying for most of the evening. Especially as I saw my fiance making out with an attractive woman who had come over alone.

As it got later one of the men was asked to bind me and I ended up on my back on the coffee table, my legs spread open and pulled up as I was told to wrap my arms around them to hold them up and apart, and then my legs were bound to my arms. It's hard to explain but I was basically exposed and unable to move much. I had fingers, tongues and d***** in and out of both my holes the rest of the evening. Then with my head hanging back off the end of the table I started getting d**** shoved down my throat. I hadn't seen my fiance for awhile but I really couldn't see much. The last time I saw him he was with that same woman.

When I was finally released, my fiance handcuffed my hands behind my back and slowly everyone left except a few hangers. Then my fiance said it was time for my surprise, he told the few remaining people that this was my fantasy, what I always wanted. To feel owned, used and roughed up. Shortly after that the doorbell rang and it was three black men I'd never seen before. My fiance didn't know them either because they introduced themselves.

They came over to me and once again I was treated like a piece of meat. They were looking at b**** and v*****, and had me bend over. They poked and prodded in an almost clinical way. I was stunned when my fiance was telling them personal things like I hadn't masturbated ever, that I hadn't been f***** for several weeks, that I'd never had a*** s**, I'd never had a threesome or more. When I didn't obey that I was fine with being slapped hard, anywhere. He told them what I had done that evening and that I loved to have my face f***** hard and that I'd never had a black man.

After some negotiations they all decided I was worth $1000 but my fiance reassured me he was donating it to charity and said it was time to say goodbye. I was crying when I said to stop joking and he assured me that it was no joke, the men had bought me for a month. I started bawling my eyes out and he told me to shut up and slapped me across the cheek harder than he'd ever done. He said if I didn't quiet down, he'd give me to them an extra month or maybe even a whole year. I was sobbing as one of the men took off his jacket and put it over my shoulders, covering my see-through dress and my hands cuffed behind my back.

Believe me when I say this was no fantasy. I was f***** hard in every conceivable way straight for a few days. I was slapped around and made to do things I'll never admit to. I was given some food and drink each day and my birth control and kept in a very simple bedroom but I was taken sexually anytime they wanted. They tied a rope around my neck and the other end was secured to a chair. I said I could just untie it and run away. When I had threatened to scream, they laughed and said I probably didn't 'want the rest of their friends to come over.

They said they'd already told their one friend that was a cop that they were buying a prostitute for a few days. They asked if I wanted him to come over and see who he decided to arrest and I said no. For the next few weeks, anytime they wanted I was f***** again and again and again. It was usually very rough. By the time the month had ended I could barely think or move. I'd spent the month naked and one day the one man came to me and handed me the black dress I wore the night of the party and told me to put it on and get out, go home, the month's up, that's all they paid for.

He walked me to the door and showed me outside. I didn't know the neighborhood but he told me to walk about a mile down this one street until I came to another street called ##### and I should wait on the corner because he had arranged for an uber to pick me up. I don't know why but I actually remembered to ask about my shoes. He said he didn't know where they were but I probably didn't want them anyway because I probably couldn't have walked in them fast enough to catch my uber and he told me I'd better hurry because the uber wouldn't wait long.

To get to my point, I made it to my old house and when I went to the door there was a cardboard box with my name on it with the few belongings I still had at the house. I didn't have a key so I knocked on the door. It took a few minutes but the girl my fiance had been with the night of the party answered. She just looked me up and down and kind of smirked. She said I sure hope you have a good friend somewhere and handed me an envelope. I threw it down and tried to push her aside saying this is my house, let me in. She turned to look back into the house and called my fiance's name and asked if he knew who I was.

When he came to the door he said oh yeah, that's some crazy chick I used to know, tried to trick me into marrying her and they were both kind of laughing like it was a private joke. He pointed to the box and said those were a few things I'd left behind, he was glad I came by to pick it up because it was in his way. I tried to say but we were engaged! I held up my hand with my ring. He said you can keep that, it was the biggest mistake I ever made but I learned my lesson. Then he pointed to the envelope and told me to take it. It was money, presumably the $1000 he got that night but he said he thought it was mine or I could just keep it anyway, he didn't care.

Then he said I had to leave now, that they had an important date, she was meeting his family and they had to get ready to go. I asked what I was supposed to do and all he said was that I should probably leave because loitering didn't go over well in that neighborhood and I wouldn't want to be arrested. I said I should probably call my mother but I didn't have a phone and all he did was suggest I buy a burner phone.

Going back home to my mother's was not fun, it was salt on the wound as she and I never got along but I had nowhere else to go. So I'm still living at home. I finally found a job and i'm trying to get my life together because all I hear about everyday is that I brought everything on myself that happened. Of course I never told her ALL of what happened but she's right. I knew what I was getting into, I just never knew how far he or HIS fantasies could go. It's going to take a very long time for me to get out of this nightmare.

Oct 26

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  • Sounds like you have received an education here. Terribly and abusively delivered of course, but still an education. There are good, kind and supportive men out there. Build trust before you spread your legs, don't fall for more of the lies you have experienced, get in the driver's seat of your life and start your comeback. Military members are quite familiar with PTSD. It could be similar to what you are feeling. Now that you are wiser, plan your comeback and be proud of the progress you will make.

  • I forced my wife to wear skimpy clothes, oral s**, a*** s**.

  • I got "sold" when I was 15, by my parents. I got pregnant at 15. My parents didn't want to deal with the embarrassment so they made up some story about me going to live with my grandmother because she was ill and needed some help. They really contacted some adoption place and a couple was willing to pay $10, 000 to adopt the baby. My parents put one condition before signing any papers, I had to live with the couple until I had the baby. I lived with them almost 7 months and I never saw any of the money. They were nice and nothing freaky happened.

  • Call the cops and file a police complaint. Take the f**ker to court and take the house he threw you out of. Good luck.

  • I don't buy your self-imposed tragedy, but I do endorse the learning experience you have, There is an old saying that "learning is wasted on the young." As an older person I can only say that you should stand up, dust yourself off, don't focus on what happened, and go forward living the life you really want to have.

  • That's easier said than done. I totally threw my life away, a trail of missed and lost opportunities. I'm in a dead end job but it brings in money so I can get away from my living situation. The small pleasures I get usually revolve around my intense dislike of my mother. She's a horrid woman who makes my life miserable, but her life is even more miserable. I won't date men anymore and the only real pleasure I get from dating women is flaunting my affairs with in front of her, plus the frequent mind-blowing big O's that women are so good at doing. Participating in the PDA in front of my mother is priceless. She thinks homosexuality is one of the worst sins. I do thank my unlucky stars everyday that my ex believed in birth control. It would be far worse if I had a dependent little parasite. So yea I'm getting on with my life but I don't even know what that looks like. It'll be a future of horrible jobs and hopping from one relationship to another. I don't even know where I want to live or what kind of clothes I like to wear. I don't have a preference of movies or books. I'm a horribly bored blank slate.

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