Thought I was alone

I always thought I was alone until stumbling across this site, I found that it is not that uncommon to be in love with someone you can't have. I met my sister when she was 18 and I was 7, Long story but anyway. We became close right off the bat and talked all the time, At 24 she got married so I was 13 at the time. She had her first baby a year later and 2 more after that, Her husband was/is/always will be the greatest man alive.
Her husband always treats my sister like a queen and I am nothing short of treated like a princess, He buys me random things, My parents don't have a lot of money so when I turned 16 he gave me my sisters "Old" SUV which was 2 years old, They took me out drinking when I turned 18 and he carried me home, tucked me into bed and then slept on the floor beside the bed because he was concerned about me.
4 years ago he turned 40 and I was 26, My sister had slipped up one night when we were drunk and said she wanted to do something he had always wanted for his birthday and have a 3 way, I was a little surprised, They had always seemed very reserved and "Vanilla" which they were, But in the bedroom apparently they were not strangers to a little roleplay and whatever. I brought it up a few times because I was interested in knowing if it was actually going to happen, She would just laugh and say "Oh god no, I couldn't ever".
I have and always will be in love with my sisters husband, Right from the time I knew what love was I have been madly and deeply in love with him and every thing about him but I would never do anything to damage their marriage etc. However, When the entire family went to Cuba it happened that we were there during his 40th, So....It sort of turned into a birthday trip, Long story we got trashed, My mom took her kids for the night and I offered myself to her as a birthday present to him.
I had no idea how it would play out but at first she was like "Whoa...No, I couldn't do that, Not with you", I kept dropping hints and by the time we were at the pool bar I said "This will be his only 40th birthday ever" and she said "Ask him to walk you to your room", I looked at her and she said "Before I change my mind", I jumped at the chance and asked, He agreed and she called him over, there was an awkward exchange between them and she said "Go...For real...Go...I want this", he said "No you don't" and she said "This is your one and only no consequences pass, One time and one time only".
We left and he kept looking back, My sister was drinking with our cousins and we went to my room.
UGH, What a man, OMG, I can't even imagine ever topping that but it was amazing, Afterward he went back to the pool bar and I eventually gathered myself, Went back down and everything was good, My sister hugged me and whispered "All good?" in my ear. I looked at her wide eyed and nodded and she said "Good". Nothing more was ever said and nothing else ever happened but it only solidified my love for him which will never change and my sister and I are closer than ever, Honestly all of us are. it seems like it took any edge off that there ever was and he easily talks to me like we are just good friends and there is no sexual tension and I truly feel like it made us all closer.

Oct 31

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