My secret

I am not gay. I have no physical attraction to males, I do not have any desire to date a man. With that said here is the confusing part. I very much enjoy ** **.
A few years ago I was curious and began playing with a couple of my wifes small **. I really enjoyed it. I started moving up in size and learning to take more. I began hinting to my wife that I wanted to incorporate this into our ** play. Possibly even her taking a more dom role and ** me with a **. She was not interested in trying it.
At one point the ** alone were not providing the excitement they once did. I went online and began looking to expand my play. I found a guy willing to do exactly what I wanted. I went to his home, there was no conversation, no foreplay, I was already lubed and prepared. I bent over the side of the bed, spread my legs wide. He began pushing his ** into my **. I immediately could feel the difference between the ** and a real **. It felt so much better! He ** me good and hard. When he he got off the feeling of his warm ** hitting my insides nearly caused me to **.
Since then a couple of times a month I arrange to get **. I still have no desire to have an interactive sexual act with another guy. I do not ** **, touch or kiss. I simply give a guy a tight ** to get off in. At the same time I very much enjoy receiving ** ** and have my needs met.