That as I was growing up, I developed an addiction to ** and masturbation. It was as if I had very little control. The images of naked women captured my interest as I was exposed probably around 9 years old but age doesn't matter. After years of masturbation and ** I became addicted and started to buy ** toys. I used them on myself and became so addicted that after I was done masturbating and feeling disgusted I would throw the ** toys in the trash, or purge. I would then feel the urge and craving again to grab those same ** toys out of the trash and use them on myself. After cleaning them of course. I brought myself to an all time low. I probably wouldn't want to be with anyone who has done such a thing, why should anyone want to be with me? Addiction shows us things in many ways and I hope heroin users and other drug users don't ever shame themselves. The fight is not over and I will find a way to respect myself.