Relieved

L: On Shabbat I intentionally invoked your name and connected to your heart chakra. Doing what the monks taught me to do which is to "sink into" whatever I am feeling at the moment; longing, love, l***, etc. I spent about 15 minutes in the midsts of my severe migraine headache and fever (caught a grief cold) connecting to and hovering in your energy field to hopefully rid myself of the 34 days of your music and voice waking me from my dreams.It allowed me to process a full range of emotions and release them. What is interesting is only 1 dream, were you as a person physically in it naked, and we were dreamy kissing. I was not trying to obsess over your you but it has been all pieces of your music, lyrics and voice invading my dreams to the point I want to charge you a months rent..lol... It was too much, even for me and I am skilled at this or so I thought. Today was the first morning in a month and 4 days after meeting you that I was relieved from being awakened by your music. Omg I feel so much better, instead I tuned into Jessie J's song, Domino. A relief. I have no direct line of communication to you, so it was not like I could call you to discuss what the f- was happening although I know you have an understanding of metaphysics. Did not want to contact you on social media because I am not certain you manage your own accounts and say "Hey girl, your music is invading my dreams 24/7," it sounds too crazy. It is not like I told you I am intuitive or super psychic when we met and frankly, did not want to dump on you online. Just needed to vent in a safe space without judgement. I think you are beautiful but I am also a realist, and not wanting to bark up the wrong tree even knowing you have a few back in the day drunken secrets regarding your own sexuality..lol..don't we all. When I said it gave me 'soulmate vibes' it is how I describe past life connections, they have that etherial surreal feeling that is hard to explain that makes you feel haunted. Only a spiritual person would understand where I am coming from. Literally, your love made me feel drunk without equal, even yesterday morning before I started feeling bad - which was probably stress from having to go to court. It's never happened to me before and although we will most likely never meet again, just know I was not trying to embarass or hurt you. We both have big mouths to compliment our sexy lips but people only know as much as we tell them and I was trying to be discreet. Maybe based on my dreams it was just past life energy or a past life romance integrating itself, but even for me it was overwhelming. Although not a mutual feeling obviously since we have not spoken. Ever since I was young, I have never been caught up in the shell or exterior or gender of people, I love souls and am unencumbered by the roles of sexuality or society that forces them upon us. However, I respect others freedom of choice and am much too shy to ever take a shot with you knowing how many lovers you have had, nor am I foolish, but I can appreciate beauty and talent when I see it. I am no longer investing in anything or anyone without equal or balanced reciprocity. Not really seeking another lover, more like a spouse and I think you want a good time, not a long term time. Just know in the silence and the distance, ' I wish you love ' by - Natalie Cole. Unless the Universe has other plans, ♥ Au revoir. I feel so much better...free, sober.

Jan 8

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