My family hates me because I'm not racist
My family is racist, and not only towards black people. They are racist against Mexicans, Asians, and Arabs.
I've been dating a guy online for 3 years, and he is a mixed African American. My family knew I was dating him, but I never told them that he wasn't "completely" white. Without knowing this knowledge, my family liked him. They liked that he is in college, they liked that he was going to fly me out to Georgia to see him this coming year, and they liked that he was respectful.
I managed to keep the details a secret until last week, when my mom and I were casually talking about him. I accidentally slipped and told her something private, which to my mom said "sounded" black. "He doesn't hang around those people does he?" I couldn't come up with a lie. So I just told her everything. This was a mistake and I instantly regretted it. She told my dad...and my dad told the rest of my family. And now my mom refuses to talk to me face-to-face (only through text regardless if we are in the same room), my dad won't eat at the same table as me, my sister calls my boyfriend "Blackie" (even though I told her repeatedly to stop), and my relatives have been calling me on a daily basis to "talk me into" breaking up with him.
My boyfriend knows. He hasn't explicitly said, but I know he's upset with me too. He is stressed and paranoid whenever he texts me, and it doesn't help that we've been calling each other less to avoid a scene. I feel like my relationship is falling apart. We had to keep a secret before, but now its like we are walking on egg shells. No more morning calls, no more exchanging photos (he is afraid my parents are hanging over my shoulder when we text), and to top it off, I can't bring him up in conversations without getting a racist lecture of how my parents brought me up better.
I don't want to break up with my boyfriend. I want to move out but I don't have the money, and I've never gotten an apartment before. I don't want my family to disown me either, but at this rate, I doubt I can make amends with anyone. My boyfriend is already working extra hours to save up for me to visit, so I can't ask him for the money without feeling disrespectful. What the f*** do I do here?