You Always Know

I titled this 'You Always Know'. I didn't 'know' when I was in the fourth grade, I 'felt' it. A boy named Carlos who was in the sixth grade showed me his p**** in the bathroom after school and made me touch it. I was in the fourth grade. Touching his p**** 'the magic moment'. He let me touch it, hold it, look at it, he asked me several times if I liked it. He pulled my head towards him and kissed me on the mouth. He asked me to kiss his p****. And then put it in my mouth.

I remembered that but Carlos didn't pay attention to me and I was hurt. I had a crush on Carlos but I didn't know what that was. One day I saw him kiss another boy, this was after school when I followed him, I did that a lot, and he kissed another boy behind the 7-11. I was devastated, I think that was the worst night of my life.

I fell in and out of love with several boys as I grew up. I kissed my share of penises and I kissed one boy's butt. By the time I was in the eleventh grade I was certified at school and the boys stayed away, except for those that wanted their p**** kissed. Being asked to kiss a p****, which of course involved kissing it and putting it in my mouth and savoring it like you do a lollypop, that you don't want the experience to end, was the highlight of that day. A lot of boys you would never pick out asked me to kiss their p****, and one assistant coach. With the coach there was his p**** too and I lost my virginity to him, oh happy days.

I stayed in love with coach for a very long time, it was just impossible to get over him, even after graduation and I had moved on to college. In my third year of college I met the proverbial Sam, tall dark and handsome, with a desire to kiss boys and use a boy instead of a girl, and I was the boy for that. He was so masculine the girls liked him, but when it came to kissing and using his p**** he liked me instead. He was my college love. After college he joined the Airlines as a cabin crew member. All I could think of was the pilots, not knowing that the pilots screwed the stewardesses and the gay cabin crew screwed the gay cabin crew. I learned that later.

I discovered gay, naked boys and men, p********** after I graduated from college. I learned about it from the attendant of the convenience store in the basement of my apartment building. His name was Gupta, I think it was his last name, an Indian fellow who liked white young men. He taught me about the Kama Sutra, there are so many positions to make love, and he introduced me to gay p*** magazines. He knew my sweet spot was naked boys and young men and he always had the latest magazine for me. Free of charge. I read the magazine while he practiced the Kama Sutra with me. He was my first true adult, a fully grown man.

There are so may others, one of the faults of gays is that they have so many lovers. so many men, so may penises. that they get lost in your memory, some are exiting and others not worth the memory, some are professional hunters and others married men. But a p**** is a p****, and when that's what you are in the mood for, any p**** will do when it's late at night. Even that man that hangs out behind the Oyster bar on 47th.

I had an operation, something to do with my prostate gland. When it was all over, I was a limp d*** sort of man. No longer able to experience pleasure, gone were the days of satisfying e**********. Facing me was something I never imagined. Truthfully, a man's p**** in your hand, is rewarded by the feeling in your p****. If there is no feeling, then what? It's a sick feeling.

But I do have my dirty habit, I have many of my old magazines from Gupta and I have found several websites that I can go to, and see boys and young men in all their glory, their magnificent p****, and dream of times in the past. I've always known I liked the p****, I liked having my p**** touched by a man's hand, I loved to touch a p****, to hold it and transfer it to my mouth. I kissed a lot of penises, I can't see myself kissing the p**** of a 70 year old man, who's p**** is useless. Like mine.

May 14

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