No longer care that I am a virgin

I'm 32. Never had **, never had a boyfriend, never kissed, much less has held hands with someone.

Been on one date with a man who wanted an fwb arrangement. It could have been so easy to have just given in to him. And i know for a fact that it'll be easier to have ** with other men after you get it over with the first one.

I used to be so hung up on this. Got so depressed and insecure that no one had ever liked me enough to pursue me. I've confessed here too.

I am not ashamed for feeling that way. I needed to feel that way to get to this current stable and happy mental state that I have now.

I honestly could not care about this anymore and i can't believe how freeing it feels. I've had a lot of time for myself and I'm really happy with the person I've become.

I'm in a good mental state where I'm energetically not desperate for what I really want. It's still a want, but I'm more clear and mature about this. I'm definitely ready for ** and relationship now more than I ever was. The only difference is I am fully accepting of letting it happen naturally, rather than constantly willing it to happen.

Trust me it's a good place to be when you just let things happen without any expectations, you attract more positive things this way.

I'm much happier now than I ever thought was possible, even though I'm nowhere near what I truly want in life.

Just wanted to share this with y'all. It's a weird and wonderful to be who I am now.