Get something off my chest

Im 22 male and i have a family but for the last 2 years ive been questioning my sexuality ive experimented (giving blow jobs and others things) just to see what its like i like painting my nails i like wearing women's clothing i fantasize about what my life would be like if ia was with a man so i before i choose to come out in person i just want to say im gay and i am ashamed for it but i am who i am i guess

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