Mom and I 40 Over Years Ago

Mom and I lived alone since my dad left us when I was three. Growing up, mom did the best she could for me and it was pretty good. She'd had a few boyfriends and casual dates over the years, but only one guy lasted longer than six months before they broke up. By the time I was a teen, she'd confide in me about them. In the months leading up to the events I'm about to confess to, I remember either 2 or 3 guys in a row that were casually dating mom "on the side." Of course, when they either told her or she found out, she broke it off, but not without being hurt herself.

When it came to "the birds & the bees" talk, mom just got subscriptions to adult magazines. To make matters worse, in the summer, when she would turn the thermostat up when she left in the morning, she would often come home after having driven home in a car with no A/C, turn down the thermostat and then strip down into either her bra and underwear or her half-slip pulled up over her b****** and her underwear. She'd wear this while she got dinner on (She was the queen of caserols!). Then she'd change into a nightgown after she showered.

I didn't give it any thought at all until well into puberty. Then, I got an instant erection. It didn't help that some of my friends rated my mom amongst the top few moms they'd like to be intimate with. Somewhere during my puberty, I started having wet dreams where mom was the object and focus of the dream. Of course, I also began self-e********** with visions of her, even using her underwear. This went on for over a year, maybe two.

It was either a Thursday or Friday night and mom gave me $3-4 (back then it was more than enough for a meal and drink!)to get something for dinner the next night because she was going out and expected it to be late, if not the next morning. That next night, I went to a friend's then got dinner on my way home. It was getting dark when I got home and I was surprised to see mom there, a bit drunk but not bad. She'd been crying so I knew it didn't go well. Normally, I left her alone on these nights; but that night she wanted me to join her on the sofa. First, she wanted a long hug, then she told me he too was married and looking for something "on the side." She got pretty upset and after I settled her down, and she got another tall drink (vodka & Fresca in the summer), she wanted me to give her a neck and back rub, which I had done many times along with her feet and calves.

Normally, when she was wearing undergarments around the house, they were normally white (to got under her nurse dress) it was only for about a hour or so, then she'd shower and change. However, that night she had her black undergarments on, which aroused me quite a bit. She laid down and I stood over her and massaged her neck and back. When I was finished, she sat up and wanted another long hug. When she stood up and pressed herself against me, she said something about at least she got somebody aroused. Then she asked how she looked and did I find her pretty--all of which I answered favorably. She asked me to stay and watch a movie with her and I agreed.

We watched the movie for a while, and every now and then I remember seeing her staring at me out of the corner of my eye. I'd look over and she'd turn to the TV. Then she sat closer to me after getting up for something and she wrapped my arm around her shoulders. She started caressing my thigh just above the knee, but soon moved it up. My bulge was nearly gone by the time she brushed the edge of my shorts close to my pelvis, but I started getting aroused.

Even though I was aroused and had fantasized about mom, I was panicking inside but trying to be cool on the outside. I wasn’t sure what to do and it didn't matter that night because mom started stroking my chest over my t-shirt while getting closer to my crotch. All at once I felt myself turn beet red, my heart jumped out my throat, and my armpits turned into fountains when she caressed my manhood over my shorts. I was trying to watch the movie and act like nothing was happening, but she saw it. She started pulling my shirt up saying I looked hot. I pulled my shirt off.

Without getting too graphic, this continued before she grabbed my hand and put it on her breast over her half-slip, then she took that off. My hormones were raging by then and good judgement was gone. She got up and started grinding and then got up and said it was time for bed. She took my hand and led me back to her room.

I was mostly in shock that first time. It just caught me totally off guard and it all happened rather quickly. We spent the rest of the night in her bed, enjoying each other into the wee hours of the morning. We even did it again when we woke up, but then mom wanted to talk...

After swearing me to secrecy, we agreed not to ever do anything like that again or talk about that night amongst ourselves. We both felt really guilty about the night before and just wanted to move on from it as if it never happened.

For over a month or so, we were successful. However, my hormones wanted more. I would wait until mom was drunk and "put the moves on her." For about another 2-3 months, mom would stop my every advance.

Then one night, she didn't stop me. She had been drinking heavily that afternoon and was pretty drunk making dinner in the kitchen when I stepped up behind her, pressed myself into her and groped her. She did nothing to stop me this time! So, I put my hands up under her nightgown (she would just stay in that all day if she had no where to go.), she not only didn't stop me, but started grinding. I tried to pull her nightgown up and she told me not in the kitchen and please let her get dinner in the oven. I impatiently waited as I did the dishes she used, when dinner was in the oven and she had the timer set, I grabbed her, pulled her in for a deep kiss and led her back to her room.

It was another night of passion, followed by a talk over brunch. This time, we agreed to keep it a secret, but to continue. She admitted that she was having the same feelings and urges I was having since our last talk, and that the afternoon before, she was drinking to fight her urges.

We continued this more nights than not for over two years. Finally, mom put her foot down and told me she found us a "therapist" (There’s a whole other story here that she needs to confess to as well!) and had made an appointment. Back then, this was something you simply didn't talk about and I'm not sure how she found this person, but I'm assuming through the hospital or university...I guess the first few sessions were fairly intense by design. Then she started spending more time with each of us individually. Eventually, mom and I were able to get back to some degree of normal, without the intimacy.

Mom is gone now and that's the main reason I'm bringing it up, but also because it was a magical time. I'd never want to repeat it, nor do I wish it on anyone else, but I will always cherish it.

23 days

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  • If you both handle it maturely and are careful, there isn't anything wrong with what happened. Our culture makes us feel many things are wrong usually by virtue of religion. You loved your mom and she loved you and you expressed that physically. Good for you.

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