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The 43 year old virgin
At this point---I guess alcohol is my woman. ** from a bottle. It's warm----toasty and inviting. Ir takes my pain away for a while. It doesn't ask anything of you,it doesn't judge you. it's soothing. It's says I'm here for you---for the time being. Take me in moderation and I can make you feel happy.Alcohol is kinda like a woman. Use your head and treat me with respect and don't misuse me or abuse me---and we can share some good times to together. I'm always here when you need me. Unlike a woman I don't complain or fuss. I just listen. I'm quiet----unassuming. I'm gentle to the soul. I'm can't love you or like you--but I still know you in a way. I always enjoy our time together.
Dear alcohol----me too...baby me too...
Just get a prostitute already. Just get it done; no one will hold it against you.
Crackling Rosie get on board.