Words don't work. I am unable to say no to him
Please forgive me if I get a little long winded. It troubles me so much and I need to tell someone. I am a high school senior and I have been having ** with an older guy, 28. He is a mechanic's helper and will never amount to anything. I am college bound and hope to become a doctor or a nurse practitioner. He wants me to give up all of my birth control so he can make me pregnant.
Worse still, is that he is an immigrant and does not have working papers. He wants me pregnant so I will marry him so he can get his papers. He has told me exactly that, if I am not pregnant my parents won't let me marry him. The pressure from him is daily and he has thrown out the birth control pills that I had in my bathroom. Fortunately I was able to replace them on a day's notice at the family planning clinic. (mine were prescribed by my doctor and I had to make another appointment with her and tell her what happened. She knows I am actively having ** with an immigrant and she had a complete panel of STDs and other diseases run). She also went all parenting on me and told me, prohibited me, from continuing to see him.
I know that what I am doing is not only wrong, it is stupid. What I also know is that when he grabs me for **, he is very dominant, I surrender and go receptive immediately. If he wanted to he could drill a hole through my jeans to ** me. As it is I will adopt any position he orders and present myself to him.
My doctor recommended that she fit me with a long lasting IUD and I accepted it. I haven't told him, he will become very angry and he has beaten me before. I told my parents the last time I refused him that I had run into a partition at school.