I think I may have been gaslighted and used by my ex best friend

So about over a year ago, I was befriended my a girl...let's call her Kayla. We met through work and she befriended me. She came on kind of strong honestly, and now that I think about it there were lots of red flags. She one day out of the blue struck a conversation with me and asked to exchange numbers. She was honestly a little younger than me and I was hesitant from the start, but because we were both Moms I thought we had a good foundation in common. She made a big deal about celebrating my birthday at work after only knowing me for a week. After about a month, she texts me claiming that she considers me her best friend, and me really looking for that set aside my own reservations about how fast this was going and just went with it. Than out of the blue, she claims she's just too sad to talk. Which I did try to be understanding about, as we all go through things. But I was going through something myself and she refused to even acknowledge that or be there for me, yet she seemed to not be too sad to text people who were just acquaintances. It honestly really hurt me and I was kinda ready to be done, but upon telling her that she manages to talk her way out of it and make me feel like I'm doing something wrong in the process. She eventually starts regularly talking to me again and things seem to be smoothed over for the most part. Than slowly she starts basically not being there for me at all, despite the fact that I always did my best to make time for her. When I tried to confront her on this on how it makes me feel, she proceeds to tell me I'm overreacting. She than refuses to even talk to me and makes working together an absolute nightmare. It was honestly unprofessional on both of our parts because we were both angry at the other. I was once again at a point where I was about to cut my losses, than right as I am she apologizes and promises to work on being a better friend so I give her yet another chance. Things are good for a couple months, than she begins to be going through rough stuff (which of course happens) I try to be understanding. I make myself available whenever she needed to talk which wound up being all night several times. Than she claims she needs time and is too depressed to talk and she's once again just unable to really be a friend to me. It's all feeling super one sided. I give her time which turns into months. She slowly starts to want to chat again, than one day out of nowhere she flat out starts ignoring me again. After the handful of times this keeps happening I'm finally getting to a point where I would rather be friendless than continue to deal with her emotional whiplash. She than proceeds to go off on me, claims I'm over texting her (Only sent her a few to check in, but apparently it was too much. I admittedly do text a bit, it's just how I am. I wasn't trying to be disrespectful or anger her, I'm just a texter. If I scale back on my texting her she gets critical that I'm not texting her enough. I do my normal 3 texts and it's bombarding her. I kinda can't win), than claims that I really upset her with my "behavior". I could honestly only speculate because she wouldn't even tell me what the ** I even did to her. I was honestly in a bad mood on that day in question, but I kept to myself. I didn't really talk to anyone. I do remember storming past her at some point but that literally had nothing to do with her. I was heated about something work related and needed a moment to calm down. At this point, I did apologize to her because it was never my intention to be unprofessional or upset her. I told her I tried my best to be a good friend to her and if that's not good enough, good luck to her and I hope it doesn't have to be weird at work. She never responded and proceeded to block me. Well, let me tell you it was weird as ** at work. She was so unbelievably unprofessional with me. She refused to interact with me in a work related manner. Wouldn't hand things to me. Stepped a ridiculous amount of feet away if I was so much as walking past her. It was unreal. Months after that she proceeded to pretty much pretend she never knew me. I never got any real answers for any of her behavior or how things ended. It was a pretty bizarre experience and honestly it still keeps me up some nights because it's two years later and I still don't know if it was all my fault or if she was kinda gaslighting me at times by saying that things didn't happen when I know that they did. She would never take any real accountability for her behavior, or really change to be a good friend, yet she had all this stuff she wanted me to change about myself. I tried for awhile but eventually I just couldn't do it anymore.

Apr 3

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  • I'm okay with giving her a second chance but after that I began thinking you're the nut in this friendship. Nobody puts up with ** like that!

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