I'm free now to pursue the hidden side of me

Being retired now and single, divorced, I have resorted to online dating. It's not really dating, it is getting together with another man for **. I started during the pandemic, and I found that there were other men like me that had been through the conventional life and were now stepping out enjoying something that they only thought about.

I thought about it a lot, and I enjoyed reading about it, old novels of secret ** between me, of forced initiations, of **. I went to a military boarding school as a kid and there was a lot of messing around, the pecking order. Who sucked whose **. And you did ** his **, if not in private in public. You had to show deference. I had to ** **, but that was in boarding school.

In my junior year during the summer there was a case in town of a kid that got seduced by an older man and how bad it was. His name was kept secret, to protect the innocent, but his perpetrator was disclosed and shamed. There were those in the community who thought it was bad what he did and there were those in the community who knew that the boy was part of it. There was never anything forced, it was a boy who wanted to know, he liked it. I know because I was the boy.

Now that I'm retired and I have time on my hands I use various tools to find like minded men. We have **, that's the purpose of getting together and when we have ** we talk about our early years and how we developed the taste for a man. It's a taste, like learning to eat liver. The difference is you can go through life and never eat liver again, you cannot go through life and not have ** with a man again. This is much like out town diner, the men who ate alone at the counter, those were the ones that would meet you later.

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