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10 o'clock

It's after 10 o'clock on a Sunday night.

This is the first time I've thought of killing myself in months.

I'm so reluctant to reach out for help because I know how I get when I'm like this. I'm clingy and impulsive and manic and out of control and it's not fair to make other people have to deal with it. I thought I was better. I have a job now. I might be finally moving out soon, away from my ** and away from this house. Why is this happening now? It's not fair.

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