My mother believed in God and the afterlife but I do not
Not long before she passed away she declared her faith for Jesus and the hope of paradise in Heaven. She was aware of my skepticism and was not happy with it.
I cannot change my mind. I hate that my mother passed away thinking less of me for my skepticism. My attitude is where is he and why does nothing come of prayer??
I loved my mother dearly. She gave up a lot for me and in the end when all is said and done I would have nothing were it not for her. I wish I could have allayed her fears for me by at least pretending to believe in her God.
Its not that I haven't tried to believe I used to pray and I didn't always pray for myself. My problem is you pray for healing and you stay sick. You pray for help in something like studying or finding work and nothing happens that I or some other person didn't make happen. I can't give God credit for anything.
So Mama's dead and gone. I sit here typing away and knowing that if God exists I'm in big trouble. I feel no fear. I feel that I am right when I say there is no God.