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^Why do the stupider trolls among us think they're shocking someone?

'ello all, I'm the OP of these quirky "OP here," comments. My mum found out that I posted these silly comments posing as the OP of all of these confessions and she's forcing me post this apology now. I'm sorry mates, I didn't ever mean no harm by any of it. I was taking the ** out of you all. And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for my meddling mum!
Cheers

Never in my days have I ever, EVER laid my tired eyes upon a confession this foul, this heinous, this horribly written piece of filth, I mean, HAVE YOU NO SHAME? Have you no CONSCIENCE? What in God's name was going through your head when you wrote this?? Do you have any idea how badly you have scarred the reputation of Confessionpost, how traumatized it's loyal readers have become thanks to YOUR depravity? I highly suggest you get committed to a psyche ward, it's the only possible answer for crazy, soulless freaks like you. Thank you for making the world such an awful, Godless place. No really, thank you. You **.