Trapped in a perfect happy marriage

I am a 31 yr old male who is in a great marriage with possibly the greatest woman on earth. We have been married three years, but have been in a relationship for almost eight years. She has been supportive, unselfish and just the greatest. I always pictured my life with her and thought "this is it, I found the person to be forever with" Here comes the twist, for about two months I have been talking with someone that has completely infatuated me. I can’t stop thinking about this person. This person also happens to be a guy. I have never thought of myself as gay or bisexual, I have never really been attracted to men, but there is something about this guy that I have really fallen for. I talk to him every night, I find myself sneaking out to speak on the phone and lying to my wife. It’s terrible! I never thought I would be one of those men that cheated on their wife and most importantly she does not deserve this. She is amazing yet I am engaging in conduct that may hurt her deeply. I am completely trapped, I don’t want to hurt her, but at the same time I can’t stop thinking about this guy. It makes me ponder my sexuality, but again even that is difficult because I have never been attracted to another man. I don’t want to be selfish. I don’t want to be a bad husband and most importantly a bad person. I don’t know what to do. Goes to show that it is true that we really cannot control what we feel.


  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • It is a crush. Perhaps you are just resonating with him in many levels. It can start a form of attraction. Or more, a little slice of worship? That might be a strong word, but you get what I mean?

    As for the sexual attraction... that can just happen. You do not have to be limp wristed to be gay. Just like not all gay guys like the bear or leather biker image.

    For me, its more of a selective attraction after you learn their personality. They have to be a -good- person. Then after that, I might develop a c*** fetish for that one guy only. I could never kiss a guy, but unbutton those pants!

    Anyways, be careful if you think that your wife will be offended that you have a sexual interest in something other than her. I know a guy who is bisexual. He was secretly bi during a marriage which ended badly. Not due to that aspect, but because his ex was unstable and abusive. So he explored his other side for awhile and met a nice girl that worked with my wife. Unfortunately she is seriously homophobic. Its insane. Does she feel so threatened? She doesn't put out much and could probably count on one hand how many times she's blown him. They recently had their second child. Its kind of a one way street but its an issue he is dealing with.

    By the way, welcome back F** ALERT guy, you have been gone awhile.

    Best of luck!

  • If you don't want to do it, then STOP DOING IT!!!!
    What are you an animal, of course you can control what you feel !

    Stop trying to rationalize what you are getting ready to do,that is CHEAT on your wife.
    Just stop. No contact at all.

    Just think of all you will lose if you do this.Once it's gone you won't be able to get it back!

Account Login
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?