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I have memories that are so horrible that thinking about them is
** that happened to me at school later on during my working years and even though I no longer have to work because of my age the memories are so bad I wish I could die sometimes.
I'm not going to give a narrative but the shoves, the blows, the spit, the insults and the lack of accomplishment coupled with many stupid decisions n my part come back to haunt me on a daily basis. I'm seeing a psychiatrist but it isn't helping that much.
Get over it. Walk it off. Don't spend the rest of your life wallowing in regret, fear and unpleasant memories. Time on this planet is short, use it wisely.