I think I have a crush on my best friend
I feel actually insane for even admitting this ** but yeah. For reference I’m a girl and so is my friend, of which currently has a gf 😃.
I never questioned whether I liked her before this, sure I did think about dating her especially when on of my friends made a little hint thinking we were dating since we had gotten so close after the last school year but now?? I want her so bad like bro. I don’t know what it is I want to be her number one I don’t get it. I secretly hope her gf breaks it off I want to be her number 1 bro 😭. She’s not calling her gf everyday after school— she’s calling me EVERY SINGLE DAY IF SHE CAN. Who had an 8 hour call with this girl— me, I did. Who was the first person to go over to her house, it was me. I don’t want to get too attached to her because I don’t want her to know or even think of the idea. I’m so scared but I already am like 😭😭 we spent an entire year goofing off in class together bonding and talking ** about people we hate. she was the only thing I looked forward to seeing everyday in that trash ** school. Maybe I’m just single and bitter and don’t want to be lonely but to even think of dating anyone but her…it’s just an empty thought. I feel like such a hater for wanting them to break up but I want her, I want all of her affection, I just want to talk to her, I want to hug and hold her. I know I’m jealous but I want to be her number one like she is mine.
I also had a big crush on my crush, she was a girl. So I made her jealous by making out with another girl in front of her. That in turn made her focus on me, so I kissed her at last for real, but we didn't do it. Wish we had, we had 2 big chances of doing it for real.