Jeans pulled down by swing’s

It was school vacation week, and a bunch of my friends and I were all hanging out together, trying to figure out something to do to occupy our time. After what felt like half of the afternoon spent trying to brainstorm something that we could do that would be fun, one of my buddies suggested hoping on our bikes and riding to the local elementary school, where we could play on the playground. The entire group of us agreed that that sounded like a spectacular idea! At the time, we were all far too old to be playing on a kids’ playground, but it’s not like that was going to stop us. Plus, when we got there, the playground was completely devoid of any other people, so who would we be bothering anyway? We weren’t ruining anybody else’s good time, so we figured that there’d be no harm in engaging in some nostalgic fun that would remind us of the good old days when we were still in grade school and when we spent many recesses playing on this same playground.

We went to the swing set and swung on them for a little bit. Because I was getting a bit bored, and because I was still immature and not thinking very clearly, I decided to re-try something that I had loved doing as a little kid. I spun myself around in the swing, entangling the swing’s chains. The chains started getting tangled up at the top and gradually started to tangle together on the lower part of the chain, close to where I was sitting on the swing itself.

Well, there was one crucial difference between doing this now as a teenager and doing it when I had been a little kid. When I was in elementary school, I didn’t usually wear baggy clothing, but today, I had on a very loose-fitting pair of jeans, and I wasn’t wearing a belt. Because of this, as the chains got tangled together, one of my belt loops got caught in them. I tried to free my belt loop by spinning the other way and allowing the chains to unravel, but because the belt loop was caught in the chains, the swing wouldn’t spin the other way.

My friends came over and kept trying to help me free myself, but it was no use. I kept trying to see if I could somehow rip the belt loop loose so that it would remain caught in the swing, but the rest of my pants would be fine, and I could just slip out of the swing. However, as I was trying to rip the belt loop off of the pants, I lost my balance and fell off of the swing. Since the pants were still caught in the swing thanks to the belt loop, and since the pants were loose and baggy enough that they were not properly secured on my body, I fell right out of the pants, and they remained tangled up in the chains as I hit the ground without them.

Now, I was lying on the ground wearing just my t-shirt and my extra-short, low-cut, blue plaid trunks, and I still didn’t know if I would be able to get my pants untangled from the swing

My friends, who, to their credit, had actually been trying to help me when I was still in the swing, had paused to laugh at my predicament now that I had been left in my underwear. I stood up and continued to try to fidget with the chains and the swing, trying to find some way to salvage enough of my pants that I wouldn’t have to walk home in my undies. Of course, it was around this time that another group of kids showed up to play on the playground. Just my luck, I thought, figuring that they would probably run and report me to the police for being on the playground without pants. Granted, that might’ve been better than what they did end up doing, since that would’ve at least bought me some time to get my pants free and flea the playground before they got back. Instead, these kids just stood there laughing at me, which only embarrassed me and distracted me even more. It was certainly hard to concentrate on freeing my pants when I now had both my friends and these other random kids pointing and laughing at me.

Finally, I was able to get the pants back. Unfortunately, I was not able to accomplish this without ripping a big hole right down the back of the jeans, right where my ** would be when I put them back on. Leaving the torn belt loop in the swing’s chains, I practically jumped back into my pants and fled the playground with my friends running close behind me as they continued to laugh and make sarcastic comments at my expense over the fact that the back of my blue plaid trunks was still completely visible through the giant rip in the ** of my pants. As I ran away, I could hear that other groups of ** that I didn’t even know continue to laugh at me too, but that group was purposely making their laughter as loud and obnoxious as possible so that practically anyone within a few miles radius of the playground would be able to hear them.

The important lesson of the day: Don’t ever wear loose-fitting clothes when playing on the playground. You just never know when and where the clothes may get caught on something, and if they do get caught, there’s no guarantee that you won’t end up losing them in front of your friends and anybody else who happens to be there.