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I have a plan
I have the method and means to end it, right now. As I've thought about it, planned, experimented and acquired, I did have the thought, maybe I should give it one more chance. Really, this time. So, whilst I now have everything to hand, I gave myself 90 days.
I'm being very social, taking my meds, helping neighbours, my family, trying to build a support system. All good things.
I'm at the end of day 86. A part of me hopes by the end, it will have changed.
A part of me thinks Im not giving myself and chance if I dont tell them how bad it is. If I do tell someone though, there goes my chance, they would ruin it.
I know it is selfish but, though you dont know me, it would really be one of the few selfish things I'd ever done. Maybe I deserve to have... nothing, silence.
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