I let her walk off into the night

So it was Friday night and my son and I are getting ready to go watch the local high school football game. I don't want to be rude so I ask my wife if she wants to join us. She has had a long day and is tired so she replies 'no you two go, I'll just stay here and have a couple of drinks'. So I give her the obligatory 'aw come on you will have fun' , she gets ready and the three of us are on our way. On the way there she picks a fight with me over something insignificant. I capitualate to her and the matter dies down. When we park and get out our son drops his cell phone and can't find it. He checks his pockets, looks around the back seat to no avail. She is getting upset with him and makes her usual diggs. He is a bit upset that he can't find the phone. I see the game has started and we are a block away so I say 'let's move on, we can find the phone later' and we start down the road to the stadium. Our son is a few steps ahead I am in the middle and she is behind. She starts yelling at our son about him "throwing a fit". I turn to her and reply 'he is fine, let's just go to the game' she replies 'this is all your fault, he is throwing a fit and you won't do anything'. I look back at her and say 'come on let's just get to the game' she retorts 'you are an a****** and I am not going. I am walking home' (we are about 2 miles from our house). So I say ' come on, just let it go' she comes back with ' you always chose his side' and walks off. I let her go and we go and enjoy the game. When we get home she is there and furious. She claims that I do not love her and that if I did I would not have let her walk home at night. In the midst of her rant she comments "no man will ever control me" (As if I even have that desire.) OK so what I feel is that I am wrong for asking her to go and that is my fault. I should have seen she was tired and insisted she stay home. What I won't take responsibilty for is her walking home at night. She is the one who made that decision and is the one who "won't be controlled by any man".
Guys, should I have manned up and chased after her?
Ladies, would you feel that your man does not love you if he does not chase you down?

Jul 8, 2010

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  • I recently had the same dilemma with my fiancee. We were both angry after a bumper scrape accident as she was re-parking (we were on our way to the movies). Afterward, she declared in front of the other driver "It was all my fault". I let the other guy go, and now we have a $300+ repair on our hands... I yelled at her and told her to NEVER declare something is her fault like that.... she then proceeded to get out of our car, slam the door, and storm off. Mind you, we were on our way home (she protested that she did not want to go home, but I was NOT in the mood, and told her she could just drop me off and she could go wherever). So I left.

    I get home and the calls and texts started. One stating : "Do I just assume you are refusing to talk to me? I need to walk home , instead of having you come back since I know you just left. I should not have gotten out of the car but I could not handle you yelling at me, I thought that (is) what you do, I did not know I am sorry please don't ignore me. I will walk home, don't worry about it. I did not want you mad at me for an accident. That was my mistake and I will fix the car.

    So I allowed her to "Sleep in the bed she made"... Now she said that she can never forgive me. For flavor, she tells me that five different guys pulled over to offer her a ride, etc.

    Now I am as chivalrous as they come.... mom did teach me right, but the PRINCIPLE was the most important here. I was not going to play the little girl chase me games - this is a 40 year old woman. We have both been married, and I would hope, have more sense. I was not about to wait, follow her in the car (she walked off into the plaza, I was curbside at an outdoor mall, at an intersection, so I would have needed to go park and THEN go chase her). I wasn't (and didn't) do it.

    I believe that I had to stand my ground - this is not a sappy love movie where the guy follows home and creates a spectacle...

    Maybe I am just a cold-blooded A$$?????

  • An alcoholic? Good call. She is without question. However I never considered that as her motivation. You could be right. It interesting that yesterday she apologized to my son, she realized that she is being hyper critical of him. But she never said anything about her behavior that night. Except that she "just wants to move on and not dwell on it". Which is better than fighting but resolves nothing.

  • I can understand her feelings unsafe walking alone at night, maybe if you had said you were concerned about her safety and would really appreciate it if she would stay, she might have not felt so bad. if she wants to still leave you can say i am not going to force you to stay, its your choice.

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