I just wanted to say anything.
Sometimes, I can't understand what I am is real or it's just part of my imagination. I don't know what I want is really what I want, or what I need is really what I need.
I don't know if you exist or if I exsist or If it would really matter that I'm here in the next moment ot somewhere else.
Sometimes I don't want to wake up in the morning.
I will do everything I can to sabatoge myself so I can find a significant reason to do it.
I don't want to die.
I just want to stop.
I want to know what it feels like not to feel obnligated to feel.
I want to have free will.
This second I want to stop.
I've cut myself to feel the rush of knowing I'm in controll of weither I'm here.
I've taken as many pills till I felt the effect of hovering the fine line.
Sometimes I just want someone to look at me and notcie I need the help to get through the day.
I wantto have a moment where I'm not looking for the nearest escape.
I want you to understand that I don't understand anymore.