need advice

i recently met my father and during the course of two years i began slowly getting to know him and my new siblings. i was shy and my new older sister was also. it took a year and a half before we started speaking more than a few words. it was her birthday all her friends were there and her boyfriend. everyone was playing beer pong while my father was inside the house sobering up and going to sleep. i found myself searching for acceptance someone i could trust and rely on. people who grew up with money or in my dads family wouldn't understand the language i had learned to survive, the values i picked up. basically i didn't want my business to be spread around and i didn't want it to be misconstrued or mixed into something else if told. i began drinking at the party and slowly i worked way into talking to my sisters wasted friends. the talking of drugs came up a familiar subject. i started to relax. a location came and i began asking if anyone knew an old friend of mine of whom i was curious yet worried. a friend know for his drug use. i mostly talked with her boyfriend he seemed alright so by the end night im buzzed and hes drunk. we talked alot and it felt good. i figured maybe this would lead to finally knowing my new sister and being able to have a friend within my fathers environment. i go back to my moms and find out he told everything to my dad and even mixed up stuff i like what my lost friend does. i felt betrayed, unless someone was about to murder somebody i stay out of it. even if people talk suicide i handle it discretely and quietly so it doesn't become a big thing. plus people don't die and no impatient or therapy. the things he said to my father pushed me further away and hurt my feelings since i believe personal means personal. i stopped going soon after and when i did go me and my new sister were back to a simple hand jester an a "hi". i didn't blame her for what happen. its like the trust i believed in was gone. i figured he was kissing up to my father for his or whatever his intentions. it no longer mattered. today on 12-14-09 at about 5 o clock while waiting for the bus her boyfriend pulls up in a truck waiting for the light to change. he recognizes me at first i don't recall his face then it hits me. he starts to say "aren't you brother" i said yea he brings up the night then announces himself as her ex which i was unaware of. everything that my sister acted like made me think that maybe she blamed herself for the change and broke up with him because of me. i understand that is only a possible cause but i still feel sad an selfish. based on everything its very probable. i want fix this i need help please send honest advice.

Jul 8, 2010

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  • yeah thanks for reading but i didn't post that for it to be read.i didn't come to this site to post a story, but a real problem that i am still trying to deal with and sadly i still am unaware of a solution. something.. anything could make feel better.

    ps for some of the a******* who post their crazy fantasies there are other sites for that. also i apologize for the people who are just trying to let it out.

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