Jealousy and Loathing
I am jealous of her; she screws around on her husband and he wants her, BUT she has to hide and try forgetting all the secrets she gave me and all the fantasies she chased.
I think she's ashamed of me, and that I touched her. I was filled with butterflies and "love" and thought this was going to be a new life. Instead I was a little 'strange', or a new adventure for her sexually.
I'm jealous that she's got a job and a career and (more than likely) more resources to enjoy and chase her fantasies.
I hate my life and the fact that I am stuck with someone who doesn't inspire passion.
And more than anything I feel as if I've lost them both; one I gave up and one that gave me up.