Jealousy and Loathing

I am jealous of her; she screws around on her husband and he wants her, BUT she has to hide and try forgetting all the secrets she gave me and all the fantasies she chased.

I think she's ashamed of me, and that I touched her. I was filled with butterflies and "love" and thought this was going to be a new life. Instead I was a little 'strange', or a new adventure for her sexually.

I'm jealous that she's got a job and a career and (more than likely) more resources to enjoy and chase her fantasies.

I hate my life and the fact that I am stuck with someone who doesn't inspire passion.

And more than anything I feel as if I've lost them both; one I gave up and one that gave me up.

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