Simply orange, after all...

I've moved on. I'm sure you have too. I'm in a good relationship now. I try to imagine my life with him, but when I'm alone and I don't even intend to, I still think about you. I still wonder how you are, and if you're happy, even after all these years. Has the ending of your movie found you where you want to be? What makes you laugh now, what makes you cry? What keeps your heart so beautiful and silly? What continually drives you to be the better man I've always known you to be from the day I met you and first truly looked into your eyes? I know now, more than ever, what I feel for you is real. I'm sorry I never had the guts to tell you that when you were right in front of me. I'm sorry I wanted to take my time with you, and finally get it right. I never wanted to rush us, because I didn't want you to be a rebound. I honestly thought I'd have the rest of my life to get to know you. I used to look into your face and it would scare me how I could see the rest of my days with you. You told me that Saturday in the park that you wanted to grow old with me. I was speechless. I was speechless a lot around you. I should have told you that I didn't want to grow old with you. I should have told you that I wanted to stay young with you forever. And then, all of a sudden, we were...gone. I know I shouldn't say it, but even now, after all this time, a part of me will always be standing outside your door Martin, waiting for this dream without you to be over. I never got to tell you, so I might as well tell the Universe. I love you, Senor Santacruz.

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