i dont even know

i dont know why but i hate my life, i find myself comparing people to myself almost everyday. I feel like my friends are moving on without me i wanna live my life and spend it in drinking and smoking and doing drugs a constantly tell them its wrong but they do not care at all. They tell me that you only live once so whhy not. why not well heres why not cause if all my friends were to die from doing that i would have no choice but to go with them. nothing could stop me. who else is going to be theere for me my family yeah my mom is so caught up in work she didnt even relize i was cuting myself. i stopped and started and then stopped agian i told myself that if i cut anymore the scars would never heal and i would never fully function right agian. my dad didnt noticed either he just sits around and does nothing and yells at me when i tell him no. my brother is too caught up in high school and hiis friends and he dosent care about my feelings and constantly makes fun of me. my parents are devoired and i dont know what id do without my friends im always there for them but they dont do the same for me i dont understand why friends cant be the same way as they are in movies and tv shows nothing is like those shows though. nothing works out for me. the only thing i have to look forward to is concerts when my friends arent dinking and im the one eho has to do everything drive buy tickets so its such a froce so even do stuff wwith them anymore. people always say if your friends are doing drugs then why dont you just not be friends anymore but i dont wanna not be friends with them anymore cause theres no where else to go. i just dont know what to do everyday i ich to cut but i dont cause there is a guy i like that i never see and i always tell myself that hes my reason to live and it works but i wanna do it soo bad but i cant

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  • You seriously need to stop hanging out with them or you will be one of them. Find new friends, its the only other option if you dont want to do drugs. And not the people who USE you to buy them things and drive them places.
    I have the same sorta problem I dont have any friends that dont do drugs and its hard to tell them I dont want to hangout with them, so when ever they decide to do that ditch them, make an excuse I have no money im not alowd OG I have the worst head ache. I have other plans.. Good Luck.

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