idk why im here. i should be sleeping.

there are many things i don't know. but one thing i realized is that it's too hard for me to be happy for another person.
i always try myself to, but it ends up being fake.
like a stupid whole of sth that eats you up with your bucket of lies and unrealistic smiles.

i should be happy for other people's happiness.
i try.
i try.
i really do.
but i always end up feeling jealous.
i hate myself for it.

stop. do. not. get. jealous. be happy for your friend or family's happiness. (doesn't always work that well for me though)

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