Jealous and hurt

I thought I was over the father of my child cheating on me and leaving me. He married the women I caught him with in our home. They have a 3 yr old and a 2 yr old now. I pretend to be ok w/ everything for the sake of our son. I am a lot better than I was initially. Even attended church w/ them for a while until I realized I was thinking not thinking very Christian thoughts as I sat near her in church. I blame him for using up the best years of my life. When I was young, healthy and beautiful. He's a very good dad to our son. That's all that should matter. Deep down inside I hate him. Now I'm single riddled w/ chronic illnesses and heavy and bloated from the meds. I feel old and run down. I wasted almost 10 yrs of my life just to be a struggling single mom trying to make ends meet even w/ the small amount he gives me in child support. I spend a riidiculous amount of $ on meds for diabetes and other chronic illnesses. I work full time and dont qualify for anything as far as some kind of assistance. Yet I smile everyday and play nice w/ him and his wife. Sometimes I just want to die. But I keep on because of my loving son and my religious beliefs. Some days are good. Today I'm feeling so alone and down

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  • Try to think of the good times when you had your p**** seen to each night

  • S** isn't everything!! Think about the bigger picture man.Use your brain and conscience :)

  • (((hugz)))

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