Family Drives Me Into Corner

In my family there's my mom, dad, younger brother, and me (the daughter/sister)...

My mom has always cared about my brother more than me, and treasures him. My brother takes advantage of this.

Whenever my brother needs something, it's all about him, and nobody else. When I fail to meet his expectations, I am mentally and emotionally abused by both my brother and mom. They yell at me, berate me, tear apart my character, and seem to spit on my very soul. My dad just sits there and doesn't bother to intervene even though he knows it's wrong.

It's so bad my thoughts will flee to thoughts of suicide and cutting, even though I've never tried either, and will never try. But I think, "When I'm being hurt so much, why can I only think about hurting myself more?"

It's so bad and they make me feel so useless. I feel like I'm unable to function in society, and it's to the point where I am considering checking myself into a mental facility, even though clearly I'm not the one that's crazy.

But I feel like my heart can't take this any more. My physical one, or my emotional one.

Years of taking this has put me in a position where I can't hold down a good job, so I'm not making enough money to move out. I couldn't concentrate in college, so now I'm 24 without a degree. I started a new school and I was doing good for a while, but my new quarter starts next month, and I don't know if I can handle it along with the abuse I get from home.

Should I just check myself in to a mental facility, or... what? I'm so lost.

2 Comments

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  • Honey do yourself a favor and move out ASAP! Even if you have to sleep in a shelter, do it and right now. Your mother is poison, your brother a j*** and your dad just seems oblivious to what's going on around him. It's not right and it's not fair. Find yourself a job where you get to meet people...for now don't worry about the money, pick a gas station, movie theater or even fast food and start making some real friends. Please know that there is someone out there who cares very much about you.

  • move in with a friend - get a different job - and for f*** sake, get away from the awful home life.

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