How my life goes
I think of myself as ugly and fat. I have always been obese and thought no one would ever love someone like me.It makes me happy knowing guys like me when they do. It feels like a miracle. I have finally found the love of my life. He loves me and tells me I am not fat. But whenever a guy tells me they like me, I like them too. I am happily with him, but I secretly flirt with many other boys. Sometimes it gets so I dump him, for one of the new boys. Then I come crawling back to him. He finally got fed up with this a few weeks ago when I broke up with him. I dated two other guys within that time. One, being his cousin, who I had s** with. After all that, I went to bed one night, crying. All I wanted was him back. No other guys, just him. My heart finally spoke. When I went back to him crying, he told me he no longer wanted me. My mind was set to just him, forever, no one else. But he could not take me. I finally begged enough and now we are secretly dating behind our parents backs, because we just want each other. When we meet secretly, he is so sweet. But when we phone, he screams and yells. I secretly think he hates me, and cut myself at night, afraid he might leave me for another girl.