My first kiss
I wasn't kissed until I was 18 years old and a freshman in college.
I can explain. Well, kind of.
I was deathly shy until my junior year of high school. I guess I had the world's longest awkward phase. I battled an eating disorder and another illness that kept me out of school for almost five months between the ages of 14 and 15.
Then, my junior year rolled around. I finally began to...socialize. It was a huge step for me.
By senior year I was...dare I say it...popular? I got invited to parties, I easily found partners for class projects, and suddenly, I was considered to be one of the "pretty girls." Even with all of this, however, no boys took interest. I began to lose the confidence that I had finally gained. I thought of myself as the ugly and fat friend of the "pretty girls."
Then, I arrived at college. By some miracle, I was accepted into a top university and I was determined not to fall back into my shyness.
I succeeded at my goal and almost immediately made friends. Suddenly, I was popular. I hung out exclusively with three girls on my hall and we had a large following. Everyone wanted to be us.
But, I still thought of myself as the fat and ugly girl. Sure, I had plenty of girlfriends, but no boy was ever going to take interest in me.
It was the second week of college when I met him. A mutual friend introduced us, and after seeing his built body, his perfectly tanned skin, and his gorgeous blue eyes, and hearing his sexy, subtle Texas accent, I backed away. A boy like that had no interest in talking to a girl like me. I grinned cordially at him before I turned away to find a friend to make small talk with.
He grabbed my arm before I got away. "Where you going?" He asked, as he loosened his grip on my arm and slid his hand down towards my hand. I didn't reply, but I could feel heat rushing towards my cheeks. He didn't let go of my hand.
"So you're from Jersey, right?" He asked as I nodded shyly. "And I'm from Texas." I nodded again, and still did not speak, so he continued. "So do you like it here?" He was still holding my hand.
"Yeah. Do you?"
He offered me a million-dollar-smile. "I love it, but do you know what I hate?"
"You can't get a decent steak around here." And then I laughed. So, he continued. "I'm from Texas, we have the best steak."
"We have good steak in Jersey too." I smiled.
He picked up my other hand. "I'm going to take you to Texas, and buy you a real steak."
And then the walls of shyness that were surrounding me finally came tumbling down. The people around us faded away and we began to talk. We talked about our classes, about our hometowns, about our families, about religion. We talked about everything.
And then, someone tapped me on the shoulder. "Ready to head back?" I looked at him and then to her.
"Yeah." I replied, but as I dropped his hand and went in for a good bye hug he backed away.
"Don't go." He offered a heart melting grin. "Come hang out with me, we can watch a movie or something."
I looked at my friend and then at him. "Alright." I smiled, as I picked his hand back up. He, however dropped my hand and offered me his arm as we walked back. "This is how we do it in Texas." He laughed as we linked arms.
When we arrived at his dorm he offered me a bottle of water and instructed me to use his bed as a sofa, as he had no seating. He began to read off movie titles. I told him to pick one at random.
As he set up the movie he began to complain about how hot his dorm room was. I, on the contrary, was shivering. As soon as "Remember the Titans" began to play, he took off his shirt, revealing a tanned, ripped stomach. As I stared at his eight pack, he climbed onto his bed and sat next to me.
"You're pretty." He whispered. I had never been told I was pretty before.
And then, he put his arms around me and gently tackled me until we were both laying down. "Really pretty." He continued and I giggled, attempting to return my focus to the movie.
He whispered my name and I turned to face him. As soon as I did, he leaned in. It took me by surprise and happened when I least expected it, but on that day, I had my first kiss.
"Texas" and I lost communication after that. A year later, I still offer him an awkward wave when I see him around campus and he always reciprocates with a small grin.
He turned out to be a bit cocky, and a bit of a man w****, but "Texas," was my first kiss. He was the first boy that made me feel beautiful. I owe much of the confidence that I have today to him.
I know that in a few years, Texas, will probably forget about me, but I will never forget him.