I feel alone sometimes.
I am 30. I just had my birthday a few weeks ago. I am begining to notice things I never noticed before. I hate my parents. They were abusive and neglectful. If my dad were to die tomorrow, I would not go home. I would not dignify his life, he dose not deserve it. I had to run away from home. I was 12, I was gone until I was 15. You dont understand what that means. I wanted to stay, but I just couldn't! I live in a different state to keep my distance. You are not welcome in my home, I do not want a relationship with you. Go f*** yourself! What I really feel is this: With the creation of social networking, I have been in touch with people who I haven't seen since kindergarten . Most of them keep in contact, as is evident by reading their posts.I am a mystery to them. I want to have people in my life who know me, I want to have long standing relationships instead of this superficial small talk. We had to leave that school, and go to another. There I made friends, but was forced to leave, because I couldnt stay home. I see them on facebook too, keeping in touch. Its just not the same when I try to join in to their conversations! They don't know me!! I hate that I don't have anybody to go "way back" with. We moved after high school, without dad. It wasn't much better. You never noticed me, my feelings, my suicidal actions, my depression, my anger. You said to me one day "You think you have problems?! There are people with real problems out there! Get a grip!" You've only ever neglected me, that's not fair. I had to leave my high school friends, too. I have nobody.