Abused and Sad

I don't get along with my dad, he has physically and emotionally abused me over the years, my mom is concerned but can't do anything about it. I go to therapy every week because this affects me so much, sometimes i want to kill myself so i don't have to deal with it. I still don't like to talk to my dad on the phone even though our relationship is getting better. But because i don't talk to him on the phone i constantly and being judged by my brother and sister, i feel like my whole life it'll always come back to that and i won't be able to escape it.

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