Here are my deepest confessions:
- I didn't start smoking because it looked cool, I started smoking because it cut my appetite and I wanted to lose weight. Now, I smoke because I like it.
- Sometimes, I wish I discovered I had terminal cancer so I could give in and let go. I hope for it so much that I know every single symptom of various cancers and sometimes do stuff that is advised against because I know it can lead to cancer. I'll most likely regret it later in life if I do get cancer.
- I tell all my loved ones that my trip to the hospital due to an overdose on medication and alcohol was due to a stupid drunken night. It's untrue. I had thought about it for a long time.
- Even if I get some male attention, I never feel worthy enough of someone's love and it ruins all my relationships.
- I left my home 4 years ago and I'm heading back in a few days. I'm worried that it won't be as good as I hope it will.
- I often cry when I look at myself in the mirror. My friends think I have body dysmorphia.
- I know that a couple of my friends believe that I'm not entitled to feel pain and sadness like they do because I have more money than them even though I've had worse life experiences than them.
- I often lie about what I eat. I try to only eat a smoothie and a salad per day and when I eat more, I get depressed.
- I use to be this imaginative, creative and interested kid. Now, I feel like my mind is blank.
- I feel out of place. Everywhere.