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Bulimia is ruining my Life

Food, I got addicted, last summer I lost alot of weight through swimming. I adapted a healthy diet and decided I wanted to get really skinny. I started to starve myself. I devoted all my time to exercise. I would wake up in the morning workout for two hours. I'd do cardio for 1 hour then swim for 1 hour. Then I'd goto work and eat something healthy but barely eat and in a couple of weeks I lost more and more weight. I lost so much weight and I never weighed .myself once so I didn't know my weight. Then after loosing the weight and starving myself. I began to gain the weight back. And it turned into bulimia. Now I'm trying to loose the weight again and I'm binging almost every day. I feel so disgusting. My body is screaming for me to stop eatting I think I weigh 136 pounds but I can see the fat on my body from over eating from days on end and I've never felt so disgusting. Food is ruining my life. I really want to stop this compulsive behavior because I don't want to have this kinda relationship with it anymore. I truly want to stop eatting because every time I eat anything now. I can feel the food metabolize into fat. It's terrible because I actually have to fast for a few days till my body weight will not go up. And my body is taking a toll as well as my confidence and how terrible I feel in my body. I never knew something that we need to live could make me feel so terrible.

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