I was NEVER the 'one'
Have you ever been-
No, I won't start like that.
It's quite simple.I love this guy.Always have.Always will.He's always been my first choice.But I'm never his.Whether it be him or some other guy, I'm never 'the one' they want.It's either someone I don't know or my best friend.Never me.I don't know what is wrong with me.This has happened in every relationship I've been in.I try so hard that it hurts, but I can never be good enough for them.
I'm not one of those kids who hate life and want to sit in a corner and cry.I am 16 and I try every day of my life to make life meaningful and happy for everyone I care about.But the pain of knowing that the one you'd die for doesn't give a s*** about you and cares the world for someone who would break his heart is unbearable.It makes my heart swell painfully and drop to the pit of my gut.When it finally plummets, it feels like my heart was filled with knives.The kind that's too sharp for my own good.
Should I swallow the pain and move on? Or keep trying? The world was black and white when I was with him.Now my world is filled with grey.