A Daughter's Birthday Wish and Gift differs every year

I'm going to turn 21 years old this month...but each and every year my birthday wish is always that my dad would hug me when i'm crying or will hold my hand when i am devastated or will proudly pat my back saying "MY DAUGHTER"...but i guess the wish is never going to come true..i still live in my rooms with all my windows and doors shut keeping it dark all the time...and sitting in a corner of my room on the floor...the room resembles my heart...i'm not able to let anyone in my heart because i'm afraid they all will be like my dad...because it's said that no one can be more closer than your parents...I want someone to embrace me hold my hands tightly and be there to catch me when i fall...Please somebody rescue me from this **...show me who i am...i've had enough of this abuse...every day each day...getting beat the ** out of me physically as well as mentally...i want to die...please kill me or kiss me someone...I don't want to live anymore...but still i want to hold on to the last survival...make me feel like living...fill my head with your loving thoughts...someone please...

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